Meine Tage : My Days

Winchester te Deum

2011-09-20T16:20:00.003-06:00

Some how I've found myself in no less than three choirs in the past month. I haven't dealt with this much music is years. And I love it. I love the passion of the directors and the choirs I'm singing with, too. Ah, the surprise of North Texas arts culture will never cease to amaze me.

In one choir we're singing John Rutter's Winchester te Deum. This is my prayer of thanksgiving in my time of transition:

We praise Thee, O God: we acknowledge Thee to be the Lord.
All the earth doth worship Thee and the Father everlasting.
To Thee all Angels:
to Thee the heavens and all the Powers therein.
To Thee the Cherubim and Seraphim cry with unceasing voice:
Holy, Holy, Holy: Lord God of Hosts.
The heavens and the earth are full of the majesty of Thy glory.
Thee the glorious choir of the Apostles.
Thee the admirable company of the Prophets.
Thee the white-robed army of Martyrs praise.
Thee the Holy Church throughout all the world doth acknowledge.
The Father of infinite Majesty.
Thine adorable, true and only Son
Also the Holy Ghost the Paraclete.
Thou art the King of Glory, O Christ.
Thou art the everlasting Son of the Father.
Thou having taken upon Thee to deliver man
didst not abhor the Virgin's womb.
Thou having overcome the sting of death
didst open to believers the kingdom of heaven.
Thou sittest at the right hand of God
in the glory of the Father.
We believe that Thou shalt come to be our Judge.
We beseech Thee, therefore, help Thy servants:
whom Thou has redeemed with Thy precious Blood.
Make them to be numbered with Thy Saints in glory everlasting.
Lord, save Thy people:
and bless Thine inheritance.
Govern them and lift them up forever.
Day by day we bless Thee.
And we praise Thy name forever:
and world without end.
Vouchsafe, O Lord, this day to keep us without sin.
Have mercy on us, O Lord: have mercy on us.
Let Thy mercy, O Lord, be upon us:
as we have hoped in Thee.
O Lord, in Thee have I hoped:
let me never be confounded.

What We Take for Granted

2011-07-23T10:38:00.004-06:00

As I prepare for my last class on the Greek New Testament this summer, I am reading Bruce M. Metzger and Bart D. Ehrman's The Text of the New Testament: It’s Transmission, Corruption, and Restoration. Ed. 4 (Oxford University Press: New York) 2005. And I'm completely in awe as I read about all the people who worked so steadfastly to preserve out scriptures before it was so easy to do. I mean, I even cut and pasted the name of the book and have already retypes three words that spell check caught for me. With that said I want to share a thought from a long sleeping saint, Cassiodorus. Because of people like him, we have the scriptures available today.

This also makes me think of our friends all over the world who are laboring (perhaps with a lot more technological help) to create a written text in the over 20,000 languages without the Scripture.

"By reading the divine Scriptures [the scribe] wholesomely instructs his own mind, and by copying the precepts of the Lord he spreads them far and wide.
What happy application,
what praiseworthy industry,
to preach unto people by means of the Hand,
to untie the tongue by means of the fingers,
to bring quiet salvation to mortals,
and to fight the Devil's insidious wiles with pen and ink!
For every word of the Lord written by the scribe is a wound inflicted on Satan. And so, though seated in one spot, the scribe traverses diverse lands through the dissemination of what he has written."

Amen.

Music has a power

2011-05-29T10:16:00.003-06:00

Today, as I was studying for Greek, a piece came on my play list that took me back to a little place called the Oasis outside of Vienna. There, refugees from all over the world come to hear about and worship Jesus as the son of God, drink and eat really sweet chai and cake, and just talk like normal people in various cicles divided by language groups. The sermons were usually translated into 4 or five major languages. It sounded like heaven to me: Farsi, Russian, German, English...

I will never forget the little 12 year old boy who sat at the piano and played the piano while people talked after the service. His family had to even leave his music manuscripts behind, but his fingers remembered their homes on the keys. He played Mozart, hymns, and this Yann Tiersen piece:

http://youtu.be/H2-1u8xvk54

Now, when I hear it that all comes back. my conversations with him in German. the commuter train through the darkened vineyard covered hills. and my dear friends who took me there, weary from the weight of their love for people they weren't sure how to help.

Girl Seeking Next Step

2011-03-17T12:31:00.004-06:00

After so many updates (via my Facebook group) over the past two years, I have kind of unplugged for the past month. I think that part of that had to do with the fact that face to face conversations and phone calls are a lot easier, now that I'm Stateside, for many of my friends. But, more so I think it is because Limbo is not fun to write about. I'm not sure where I'm going; what I'm doing. I keep busy to some degree, but not really plugged in to the life I hope to lead.

Regardless, I think that having some kind of record of my life, even now, is good for me. So, I've decided to share an edited version of an e-mail I sent to a professor that kind of explains me as I stand today in simplified terms. For those who know about my talks with my alma mater as well as my beloved previous employer, I still am leaning that way, but until they accept me and I'm sure that is the way I'm going, I am seeking out all options and listening for that voice to say, "this is the way, walk in it."

Dr. --,

I am currently searching for my future educational options, and found the class listing for the cultural anthropology program at the ----- University website interesting, even inspiring. But, I am curious as to whether I would be a good fit in such a program with my history and interests.

My undergraduate was in music. I received a BM in vocal performance from UTK in 2004 but I realized before graduation that I was more interested in the performers than the performances themselves. My growing faith and interest in how people experience God in urban contexts led me to New Orleans and seminary. I received an MA in missiology from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary which combined conservative theology with anthropology, where I especially focused on ethnography and non-traditional church models.

I recently returned to the States after two years in Austria where I worked for an organization where part of my job was to do some cultural research on the student population of Vienna's universities for a leadership mentoring program they hope to develop. This term solidified my interest in post-industrial societies and importance of intercultural relations. I believe that many of those in the Christian community of "missions" now condemn humanity's imperialistic tendencies but have little knowledge of how to do good and follow our faith without dragging our idiosyncratic cultures with us. I wish to be an advocate and trainer for improved understanding and trans-cultural communication practices within that small community.

The unfortunate divorce between secular and faith-driven approaches in cross-cultural exchange have harmed the methods of well meaning Christians and excused bigoted practices in the name of a God who is depicted in the Bible as both meta-cultural and interacting within various cultures. I wish to seek out theories and implement best practices that others interested in human cultures have to teach me, including secular communities. But, I fear that because I am honest about my agenda - to apply the knowledge gained to better communicate what I believe is universally salvific in a way that is meaningful within host cultures' existing paradigms - my work would not be taken as serious or helpful in the secular community while I'm learning those skills. I also recognize my limited education in cultural anthropology in my previous studies may also effect my learning curve.

So all this to ask: Is there a place for me in your school, or would you suggest another route to improving my cultural research and trans-cultural communication skills?

Once again, kudos to the intriguing mix of classes within your degree program that seem to engage current global issues that anthropology speaks to as well as more specialized, classic academic research.

Thank you, etc.

Lessons

2011-01-09T21:17:00.002-06:00

I was talking to a younger friend of mine and she shared with me that God is always giving her the same testing. She is learning to pray "Your will be done" and trusting God to do better than she can pray for. I told her she is right, that all of life is one big lesson of learning to trust and stay close to God. It may look different, but we never out grow the Gospel. We never stop needing God's grace to make it through the days because he wants us to stay close to him.

The last half of the past year God has given me an ongoing surge faith like I have never experienced before; not from anything of myself, but faith from God for God. God's faithfulness overwhelmed me and things began to click as people came to me wanting to know more about the Bible and how to live a life fully turned toward Christ. The more I needed him, the more God seemed to be near and active at every moment. I saw how my life can be totally used to build up the Kingdom.

Then lately, and especially in the past week, the weaknesses and the immaturity of my work has hit me. I push when I should love and pray. I try to have the perfect words. Then other issues arise and I have no words and I'm not even sure of the right response. All the same, I try to be the expert. I forget to listen to the Spirit and what people really need - which is not me preaching even if people ask for advice.

And once again I realize that I need God. I need to be filled with the Spirit to make it through the day. My identity and my needs need to be met in Christ so I don't feel the need to prove something or to fix people. When I'm filled up in the Spirit he heals people. It wasn't me, it was him all along. I want more of him and less of me.

A girl in my home group said something I can't get it out of my mind. We were discussing Acts 5 and I asked why the people in my group would be afraid to join the new Jesus following that we just read about. They mostly talked about fear of rejection and judgment because of the incredible things this group of people were accomplishing compared to their lives. We talked about this for while and how amazing it was that normal people were all of a sudden doing impossible things because of the power of God. Later the discussion leader asked, how does this passage affect your view of your life? One of my girls said that she kept thinking of the people who trusted so fully in this power that they left their loved ones out in the dusty street in hopes of them being healed. She wanted that kind of trust; that kind of faith.

While I was thinking of my own answer, I wanted to be the kind of person who is so full of God that my very presence brings healing. I want to be such a reflection of God that I would be worthy of strangers laying their lives on the line for the hope I bare. But first, I need to be the one who trusts so fully that I will let go of what I hold most dear, believing that God will heal and redeem that which I will put in his path.

So, that is where I am today.

Missing My Father

2010-11-10T09:51:00.005-06:00

Today is my father's birthday. I miss him very much so I'm going to brag on him.

This morning at 5 o'clock I was awake from another night of sleep not wanting to come. I finally used the amazingness that is Skype to talk with mommy. Then my daddy and I starting talking. I felt free to be my hypochondriac self by quizing him on his experience with hyper thyroid and its treatment to weigh in if my jitters, emotional oversensitivity, fitful sleep, and crazy dreams could be accounted for by an inherited malfunction. He patiently talked me through without judgment or trying to fix anything. He trusts I'll eventually go to the doctor if I think something is really wrong but still managed show his concern that I don't walk in a daze into traffic.

Earlier in the night I listened to one of Mark Driscoll's ranting about his own precious relationship with he daughter. He talked about snuggling, going on daddy daughter dates, and all the emotional affection they have for one another. I am so thankful that my dad and I have that today, too.

As I worked through the morning I began to reflect how thankful I am for such a dad. I would not be the woman I am today without his influence and love in my life.

When I look back to when I was small my father was a youth pastor and I remember climbing into his arms as he talked with students as if I were a part of who he was and how safe that felt.

One of my earliest memories of understanding the Gospel and my mission in life is connected with my father. As part of some illustration for his students, Daddy put me at the end of a partition-wall maze. I was the "lost sheep" that Jesus and his followers were to go seeking. I still remember seeing the back-lit silhouettes and Daddy reaching down to pick me up after waiting for what seemed an eternity.

After realizing my need for Jesus to take control of my life so that I could have the power and grace that my parents and others had, I walked the aisle to my Daddy who picked me up to announce to the church his joy. He was nervous to Baptize me so we practiced the night before the service.

I remember when he took my to Kirov Ballet when the troop came to San Antonio. He bought me the fancy program of their performance in matte finish photographs - a great treasure I looked through again and again.

I remember how he didn't flinch when as a senior in high school I changed my plans from joining him in architecture as an interior designer to a major in vocal performance.

Daddy also didn't flinch when after five years of undergrad, I realized I cared more about musicians than performance. He supported my decision against grad school and professional singing to be a part of God's mission in cities. He counseled me through decisions and didn't pressure me to go to his alma mater. When I did choose New Orleans, he treated it as my decision in my life - not his - so if I changed directions again even after one semester of seminary, I should feel free to do it. I can't tell you how affirming that is.

When I wanted to stay to do relief work after Katrina, he didn't pressure me to come home to safety or left me to my hair-brained devices. He listened. He prayed. He supported. I had never felt so much that Daddy trusted God with me and me with God.

He expresses pride in my choices which has given me hope while living in Vienna as I have struggled with loneliness and worry so far from friends and family. When I made mistakes or was processing through ideas, he has been there.

He and Momma have both taken time out of their busy schedules to visit, but not only that, to experience the culture of Europe together. There's nothing like going to the Louvre with my Daddy. I was also grateful for how tall he was when we all got separated in the crowded Sistene Chapel. And I will never forget how we discovered Mexican food in Rome after a morning at the Colosseum.

We can now talk shop about the condition of churches, how we can better disciple people, and what conventions he's going to. I can be nerdy and academic with him.

I'm so thankful that he has clearly been a prayer advocate for me at work and at church by the number of people who has written to say they're praying for me.

He has talked me through my questions and stories about boys and then men through the years. He puts things into perspective as I see what I loving man acts like. My mother and I have always been very close an we're always talking on top of each other. My father is quiet and it took me years to realize all the treasures that come when I ask him his thoughts and seek his counsel. I treasure our times together.

I can't wait to be home and just snuggle on the couch and watch Castle marathons or go out to lunch with him.

So, I pray that you have a wonderful birthday, Daddy. I am so honored to be your daughter and my heart is full of love for you.

Season

2010-10-20T09:07:00.004-06:00

I have had enough kind complaints to make me realize that I've neglected this blog.

So what's going on with me?

My days are still surrounded by the project that has kept me busy most of the past two years. If you'd like to see some bite sized pieces you can check out
My Vienna Blog

I still sing in the University of Vienna choir. The holidays concert season will be filled with songs from Latin America (yes, I'm getting explanations of how to pronounce Spanish, Portuguese, and Haitian Creole from an Indian man in Austrian German. My head hurts, too.) We're also singing some songs that our conductor wrote himself including a setting of the Prayer from Francis of Assisi,

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

It's a rather strange setting of the lyrics so the meaning of the text is somewhat obscured, but even so the students are rather stumped by the words. I pray that this prayer that I will pray and sing with my fellow singers will somehow open the door to their hearts of a divine master that can do these things and how that can free them. I hope for conversations of why this poem is meaningful to me as it connects with truth from the scriptures and in my life as a servant of that kind master.

Romans 6:2-7
We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.

It's been a while

2010-09-13T09:31:00.002-06:00

I don't have the brain power to say much, but I want the world to know that today I have on red nail polish that matches my watch. It makes me very happy. I put it on yesterday while I was watching Oceans Eleven which made the whole process cooler. And, today I didn't have my transportation pass with me so I had to walk around the city to get to my appointments, which was okay because I wanted the world to see my fabulous nails.

Of course, that was tainted by the swirling winds that made me wrap my arms around myself and tuck my fingers under my armpits. Tainted, but not destroyed. I still felt pretty.

Rant. Forgive me.

2010-08-27T13:12:00.002-06:00

This is in response to an opinions column a friend posted today by an acclaimed historian and writer. I would expect more from such credentials.

Even if every person registered with the Republican Party IS purposely ticking the rest of the world off because they like being dumb, this was a petty ...piece. There was no new insight on current world issues. He's re-hashing events that have already been discussed ad nauseum. If there was still a need to write about these issues, might it have been more helpful if he had explained the differences in historical perspective of American conservatism and liberalism and how they play out on street level accusations that seem ungrounded in reality? Maybe then people would be more understanding and have more tolerance for each others beliefs. That would be a good read. This is "they are stupid; we are enlightened" fluff.

I'm disheartened that educated Americans would nod in agreement because he's been approved by the publications elite. I don't buy the, "take it down to their level by acting like the worst of them" way of arguing. I find it degrading and not constructive against your opponent. But that's my taste.

I think that a lot of the problems of American politics is not that they disagree that much. Americans believe in the principles of the constitution, which is radically liberal document. They just disagree why.

One camp tends to think government is a necessary evil - and should be limited to simply upholding the rights its citizens. However, power corrupts, so power should be spread and kept as local as possible where is it held most accountable to the people. It must protect the rights of all citizens; however, government social programs are a sign that the people failed to do it privately. An ideal extreme government would be pure anarchy protected by an army.

the other camp believes a democratic government is, by nature, positive and socially centered. When the government is at it's best, all the the citizens are released to work for the greater good rather than for just personal gain because the government provides all needs: roads, infrastructure, clean water, food, shelter, jobs, education, and medicine. There is less division between branches and power is centralized because it's a good thing for the best thinkers of the nation to think globally and act locally. An ideal extreme government would be pure communism with no army.

Being a moderate, as the majority of the US is, I think that a functional government is somewhere in the middle. But somehow, the two main moderate parties of America have developed a language barrier between "liberals" and "conservatives" that the media uses (including your author) to make it sound as though it's impossible to understand the other side because the other side is incapable of understanding us. I think that's wrong, no matter how cleaver they are in doing it.

What this author should have done was create a rally cry for less entertainment and more education in the media. I'll keep dreaming.

Pound Puppy

2010-08-01T15:46:00.002-06:00

For the past week or so I've been staying at my friends' house watching their wayward dog. She's a mess. She eats everything in her path if you leave her alone. She gets hyper and wants to play with her wet toys as the worst times (while I write this insightful blog? no - now she's asleep) and she cries, growls, and sometimes pounces at the bugs that at time only she can see. Another friend warned about the time she got into her cooking chocolate stash. Another set of friends won't allow her in their garden...

But, she's the most affectionate creature I've ever been around. She snuggles at my side whenever I sit down and even sleeps on the bathroom carpet while I shower to be near me. When I tried to take her on an U-bahn escalator she gladly compromised by wrapping herself around me when I picked her up. After watching her, I think this dog just needs another dog in her life to not be so neurotic. But, that's not what is going to happen in this home. This family is wonderful but they have decided they are not a good match for her and they are tired of having their things eaten. My friend told me that when they return they're going to find a new home for her.

So I'm sitting her tonight with a beagle attached to my side, knowing her future is uncertain.

And, I'm the just same.

Sure, I have skills this dog doesn't have. I have parents and friends who support me no matter what I decide to do. I know the God who leads both our paths. I'm not doubting all that. I'm simply thinking that I can't stay here in Vienna. And I don't know where my next home is. I have six months left. I have made dear friends and have hopes for God to really move in the lives of people I know. But I can't stay. And, I know from my life and my skills I will probably always keep me moving on. Most of the time I love that. It's just times like this, while I'm looking down at her as this dog growls in her sleep, when I realize I can't even adopt her because my life is as wobbly as hers. I feel homeless and I miss "home". Whatever that is. Maybe it's just because I've been sick for the past week and traveled a bunch before that. That's probably why I feel this way. When I'm more connected with friends and out in the city things will feel better.

I'll reconnect.

That's all the home I've ever really needed this side of Heaven. Just to know that there are people out there who care for me deeply, who embrace me with their hearts and pray for me. My brothers and sisters, the love of Christ in you is my home. I guess that's true for all of us.

Living on the outskirts of the circles of faith has shown me a lot about the time and resources that the Bride of Christ spends on her love of religion and tradition for its own sake. But more, I've learned the importance of having people to remind each other of the unfathomable Truth: that we don't belong here, that God - Jesus has conquered death and the grave and is preparing our true home. There is something so essential in the gathering of believers. Yes, to teach newbies, but also just to remember. Remember. We're doing this for a reason. Our God lives and He loved us perfectly enough to be the way for us to connect with Him. So now we have, "Christ in your, the Hope of Glory."

Six months is a long time in dog years.
May I finish this well.

Brokenness

2010-05-30T10:27:00.003-06:00

How do we respond to brokenness?

That is the question of the day for me. In the past few weeks I've been reminded of bad decisions in my past that I'm still making amends for. I've realized as much as I have personal, spiritual freedom from my brokenness because of Christ's righteous redemption in my life. All the same, as I look out of my own internal world, the world overall is broken. Just broken.

I've been haunted by an evening I had among young people recently. Most of them were native English speakers. I slowly worked through the crowd. I only knew two girls there. When one guy and I looked at each other, however, and he commented that he felt like he had seen me before. I said I felt the same and expected that round of, "where did you study?", "Did you go to this camp?", but instead he said, "maybe at the strip joints? Do you hang out near the brothels ever?" I was speechless for a second. I think I responded something about if he had seen me there I would have been talking to the girls working there about their lives, not mingling with the men there to use them. I walked silently away as he and his buddies talked getting weed for a friend who just got a new video game and wanted to waste away fro the next few days after his mother came to visit. His words threw me into this stream of thought I wasn't expecting as we were surrounded of the natural beauty of Vienna.

From his other comments that he was merely being a thoughtless jokester and I even chose to believe that he didn't join the throngs of sex-tourists who support this life-killing system that always walks hand in hand with outright slavery. But, my feelings about the sex industry are so strong that even to joke about the existence of the brothels here in Vienna made my heart sink. I remembered the Romanian immigrant, who was leaving her work place at a brothel when she was set on fire by an un-known man. She still is in a coma in critical condition. Of the orphans I had spent time with in Moldova, knowing that some of them would very likely to be end up in those brothels without intervention.

Later in the evening I heard enough other conversation from another guy to want to do him critical damage by the way he was talking about women. All the while his current sleeping companion (of the week apparently) sat quietly under his arm. I wanted to tell her that she deserved to be with someone who actually liked women and valued her as a person.

Despite the fact that Vienna hast been called the best place to live in the world it is not true for all of her inhabitants. The realities of life will always be filled, either externally or internally with scarcity. People will forever grasp for the feeling of fullness, of completeness. Many have no scruples in using others to find that ever-unattainable fix. The wealth of the city clearly does not make her people immune. One only needs to see the headlines of the latest scandals, or the latest bragging of one's neighborhood megalomaniac.

But, as a believer in Christ, I know I don't have to play this Life-boat game of devaluing other people to survive the scarcity of this life. So, how do I respond to the comfortable, upper-middle class, young people who have been taught to take all the can get - as long as with the next breath they talk about alternative fuel sources and morally consider which groups are freedom fighters and which are terrorist groups? I know they are grasping, and for them I want to show them life made complete in Christ, but what about the people they're stepping on, or at least supporting the people who do?

Witness.

2010-05-06T08:44:00.001-06:00

Just before 3 pm on 6 May 2010 I was walking down the pedestrian zone of the 10th district toward Reumannplatz Looking for C&A department store on the left side of the street. At first I was looked down the side street to the left to see if C&A was on that street (it is not). As was about to cross the street over the entrance for Keplerplatz U-Bahn station when movement caught my eye across the pedestrian walk way from me. I saw a man of average height in a black shirt and jeans pushing and hitting a small woman toward the corner of the building across from me. She had on a black silk had scarf in the style Turkish women wear. When he began to kick her in the stomach I realized that they were not just fighting but that he was angrily beating her. She had her head down and was being very submissive while trying to get out of the way of his blows. There were a few women at this point who were reaching for her. I could not understand anything they were saying and I could not run across to help because an ambulance was about to pass by and then the light changed. I did yell, “stop!” At that point the man began to run the opposite direction of me, and three men who also looked Turkish began to chase after him. I tried to decide if I should stay to help once the light changed or if there were enough concerned people closer to the scene. I prayed that justice would be done and thanked God for being a God who hears the cries of the oppressed, but I closed my eyes as compassion overwhelmed me and I lost sight of the woman who was attacked.

I crossed the road and saw that the men were successful in catching the perpetrating man. They had him pinned in an alcove of a side door of a cafe or something close to the corner where the incident occurred. There was a small crowd looking on. I confirmed that the man who had hit the woman was taller than me, black hair, dark complexion. I think he was Turkish from what I could hear, but I do not know. His shirt had writing on the front, but I didn’t not see it clearly. One man in particular seemed to want to hold him there and seemed to be questioning the man. I could not understand what they were saying. The perpetrator looked very angry. I asked a man closer than me but he had not seen enough to tell me anything. After a minute apparently they decided to let him go because he squirmed away and went right past me. No one chased him again.

After coming back from C&A, which is a block away, I saw the police talking to the woman who was attacked near where the incident had happened and decided to give my information as a witness.

Dark Cloud

2010-04-18T07:44:00.003-06:00

Somehow PC&I were able to make it through the ash before the airport closed in London. I never thought for a second that the ash would make it this far, but sure enough, the Vienna airport is closed now! As much as I love and enjoy having family here and I've always thought that their trip was shorter than I liked, I am so curious how this is going to work out.

Even after their first close call, their quick take off out before the air was too ashy, I never thought that our train rides to Venice and back would be effected. But, that wasn't all we were in for. I've ridden in OeBB trains many times and every time was very pleasant in 1st and 2nd class. This was my first night trip. To my dismay, our train car was not what I was expecting. We were originally put in a Liegenwagon - the cheap sleeping cars with 6 beds - that were not made out with sheets or pillows, but still more restful than sitting upright. I. went to sleep and all was going well. Then, after the OeBB part of the train divided off at Salzburg, the new conductor woke up C. and I. with a start (P. and I were exploring the train, unsuccessfully looking for food), turned on all the lights, and told her we were not allowed to sleep like that, and reset the room for two benches facing each other, with no dividers or anything to lean on in the middle. Needless to say, we were not fans of this man. We were all so tired, none of us thought to pay to switch seats. But before long, the whole train was filled with people sitting the hall way next to our room. I'm sure being in a room helped with noise but the heat was terrible.

Long story short, we arrived at the train stations a little worse for the wear. The sunny day that was forecast gave way to scattered rain. But, J. and A. met with us and the showed us around this glorious city! Venice was such a perfect combination of Old Word decaying decadence city and a clean, friendly tourist town. It really is the perfect place of a Honeymoon or some other "do nothing" vacation. The little mask stores were a little redundant, but the cafes were great. We found one right on the Grand Canal to get a cup of coffee, hot chocolate, and sweet things but were all feeling so comfortable (and tired and not wanting to walk in the rain) we stayed for dinner. It was a great place for people watching, but mostly I enjoyed getting to talk with my friends and play with little I.

We went back to the train station early to try to upgrade our seats. C. got in the ticket purchasing line while J. and I searched for information. After some time in the information lines, I finally got into the office and explained my situation to the clerk. He laughed in my face! He then apologized to told me that there no seats available leaving Venice for the next 5 days. That's right. All these people standing in the 3 hours in all these lines were just trying to somewhere, standing. He explained that the conductor would be happy to upgrade us to whatever he had available if there was a cancellation or something, but he could not help us - but we should realize our luck!

So, sadly, we were on exactly the same train going back. But, we understood where we stood in the world. I talked to the conductor and he, in a stained voice explained that someone had even double booked one of the sleeping rooms and he had no idea what he was going to do. He had asked for another car for the train, but he was denied. I wanted to give him a hug. He seemed genuinely concerned for the people as though he was our host, caught without enough rooms. It was such a different attitude than the last guy we dealt with! Plus, how he had the cars set, the headrests were low enough and rapped around so we could lean on them to sleep. I. and I slept pretty well I think. P&C were so forgone from jet lag and then dealing with a sleepy child, I have no idea how it was for them. After I slept until 4 I got up and gave Paul my comfy window seat and explored. I watched the sun rise in Austria with a guy who gave me his extra yogurt drink and some cookies (his group was very prepared!) And, by then most of the crowds had gone, so I found an empty bed with some American students and fell asleep until we were almost of Vienna.

Needless to say, I'm much better rested than P&C so today we're all taking an "easy day" at home. Vienna waits for us outside and I'm okay with that.

(more than a) Tree Hugger

2010-02-23T17:10:00.007-06:00

Somethings things God has been showing me lately, here in Vienna: what He wants in his kingdom and a little about how He wants to use me to help create that here on earth.

I know it's no different than anyone else who converts to Christ-followerness. Supernaturally, through the blood sacrifice and resurrection of Jesus, we have become co-heirs and have responsibilities that go way beyond "take care of the earth" stuff. I mean, that's a no brainer. Every one knows that if we don't take care of the earth, we will suffer the consequences - we are suffering the consequences of wrong doing throughout the ages and what we do now will affect those who go behind us. Here in Vienna, the state has done a pretty impressive job of that. It's nice to breath clean air and for many people to have jobs.

But, I'm starting to understand better about how God wants something more. More than good behavior here on earth. He wants heaven on earth. He wants to be reconciled to his creation. That's why Jesus came: to make it possible for God to call his children home once and for all.

All Christians have something called a ministry. I used to think this meant official church good deeds, but I'm starting to get that it's how Christ-followers act like Christ every day. We show and remind people what our God is like and how He wants the world to love Him as much as he loves us. Man, if we only understood. . .

I read the story of Jonah for the thousandth time Sunday night. I was praying for a two friends who have created a rift between each other, for A. because his mother died, for N. in Haiti, for a church going to South Africa, and for the people who came to my house on Friday... so I was only half reading. But then the end of the story caught me. You know, the end of the story that everyone forgets because it's after the ticker-tape parades in the city that God spared.

Jonah's sitting there expecting the city to be destroyed, even after they repented from their oppressive and corrupt ways, because Jonah didn't like them and he wanted God to take them off the map. They were morally repugnant to him. Plus, he was really annoyed because there wasn't much vegetation where he went to watch the show of Nineveh's demise. God made a tree for Jonah's comfort, but God sent a worm to take away the tree the next day so Jonah wasn't comfortable. (I sometimes wonder why God did that - to give a tree for comfort and then a worm to destroy that comfort. There's a tree motif throughout the scriptures that's a little complex for me sometimes.)

But, then God asks his reluctant prophet, "'Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?' 'Yes,' he replied, 'It is right. I'm angry enough to die.'"

"So the Lord said, 'You cared about the plant, which you did no labor over and did not grow. . . Should I not care about the great city of Nineveh, which has more than 120,000 people who cannot distinguish between their right and the left, as well as the animals?'" - End Book

God really cared about the people of Nineveh and he was annoyed by this guy who knew the scriptures, knew God and yet didn't understand God's heart. He wanted to spare them, but He also knows what evil can do to his world and was willing to do what it takes to bring balance in the world - even if that means ending lives. Sometimes, I want God to send a lightening bolt after the last sentence to teach JOanh a lesson about insensitivity, but then I realize that I'm a little like Jonah for thinking that.

God wants to show his mercy to the earth. The Bible says that, "creation waits with anticipation for God's sons to be revealed." And it also says that we will be revealed by our love.

So, my job here on this earth is: to aid in the discipleship of people into sons and daughters of God who are known and tested by acting like Him. The best way to do this is to openly live out my own transformation and to explain the teaching of Christ that promoted the the changes and pray that this Spirit would indwell in our hearts and change us from the inside out. I think I'll do that best by doing what I already do, but with a more defined underlying purpose, and take things to the next level when I get the opportunity. Like, I really what to start a new Bible study with some of the people I've met lately who are agnostic or whatever, but are interested in Jesus - and I think it's because they get that creation is longing for Something.

```
Am I becoming more:
loving
joyful
peaceful
Patient
kind
faithful
gentle
self-controlled?

Because of God's work, I think I am. But after watching Francis Chan's video about the persecuted church I am more than ever convinced that this is all that my life truly comes down to. My singing may be enjoyable, but only valuable if if points to joy in Christ. My writing may be enlightening, but only if it points to faithfulness and peace with Christ. I want my life to be a reflection of Christ, the redeemer of the world, so that others will come to him and be spared from the falling apart of this world and come to God now and for eternity.

Who We Are

2010-02-10T14:38:00.003-06:00

Today, my teammates and I got together to talk about who we are so that we will know how best to move forward together. We each had 7 minutes to explain our essence, how dream job, our love language, or pet peeves, etc. We're a bunch of extroverts who like alone time. Except for those who are introverts who don't mind coming out their shells for the sake of people they care for. Some of our team see themselves primarily by their functions. Some by their aspirations. Well all had different ways of expressing all these facts. Some told parts of their biographies, others had printed out bullet points. One woman wrote her speech out neatly on five note cards. Some finished in 3 minutes and had to be further questioned. I, of course, had to cut my thoughts short.

I'm so glad I'm on this team of people who are similar but different; have the same God but experience Him in different ways; have the same Gospel but express it in our lives differently. But more, I'm so glad that we seem to trust each other. There is a sense of family. Maybe it's our common commitment to help others reach their potential as well as our own submission to the loving will of God, but I feel I can be my best, most abandoned version of myself with these people. I don't say that lightly or to make those who are not in this kind of situation envious. I just want to say that I'm grateful. And that I'm looking forward to the best year of my life so far.

Needs and Obligation

2010-01-14T12:43:00.004-06:00

Like everyone, my mind has drifted back and forth today between my mundane moments to the catastrophic events going on on an island far away. I am glad for my sister-in-law's timing of asking for Charity: Water donations for her recent birthday because they are one of the groups fighting to keep people alive and that money is already being put to work. But is that enough? Of course not. I'm still processing how I can help from here with the budget I have.

Today I read a little about the authority of God. He does have the authority to do whatever he wants. Like it says in Isaiah 46:9-10 "Remember what happened long ago, for I am God, and there is no other; I am God and no one is like Me. I declare the end from the beginning, and for long ago what is not yet done, saying My plan will take place, and I will do all My will." So what does this all-powerful God will? Look at the next verses, "Listen to me, you hardhearted, far removed from justice: I am bringing My justice near; it is not far away, and my salvation will not delay. I will put salvation in Zion, my splendor in Israel."

God is a God of justice and salvation. Yes, we live in a world where catastrophic things happen. There is lack and pain. But God's actions in this world (in scripture) always have the goal of drawing people's attention to himself, to heal and reconcile in the end. He does His will and he never acts outside of his character even when we don't understand how it will work together. This all comes to a potent point when Jesus died to take on the curses that bound us and He overcame the sting of death by His resurrection. That's why we should always be among the first people to get out there to help and protect those who are hurting. We are his healing hands on this earth with God's Spirit in us. Clearly we are failing to be obedient - maybe we are just fooling ourselves to say we are Jesus' followers at all. At least when we see horrible things on our TVs or computer monitors we remember than our mundane lives could be different. We could step out and make sure that this world is more just and healthy because those who claim to have a relationship with God also act like it.

Colds are Weird

2010-01-09T05:10:00.002-06:00

So I have been laying in bed for the past 5 days. I'm so over being sick, but the dumb bug has not completely moved on. At least now my brain has cleared enough that I can fold laundry, write some thank you notes, and - oh yes - stay up until 5am reorganizing my life! Yeah. I don't know what that was about. But last night I went nuts and reorganized my desk. To be clear, didn't actually get out of bed until about 11pm and I layed down to try to go back to sleep a couple of times but my brain was starved for real-world interactions.

So I guess I was quasi nocturnal at this point. However, today I made myself get up so I have some chance of normal sleeping patterns some time in the next few days. I have to go to immigration (for real this time; not just saying so and then getting sick like this week) at 7:30 on Monday so I've got to figure out something. I thought about keeping closer to my current patterns by just staying up, but then I remembered that I am meeting my new teammates later than day AND Uni choir starts. Must be well rested for a long day. And oh, I need to get passport pictures today for my residency card in case they ever decide to give me one...

Just thought I'd get back in the habit of blogging. Check and maybe I'll actually post something of substance at some point. Probably not.

Reformation

2009-11-02T15:25:00.005-06:00

After Hurricane Katrina I got to hang out with some of the best/worst people in New Orleans and I realized that I wished this was how the Church ran it's business, too. History would have been positively different for it. Jesus showed in Scripture that Drunks and prostitutes are people to learn from - especially when they find freedom in Christ. My obsession with perfection, comparing myself to shiny, polished people hasn't helped a bit. Wouldn't be so much healthier with no more egos? No more personality cults. Just broken people coming together for the goal of redemption and serenity from God.

So I'm beginning to think this is what I want my church to look like:

[Church] Traditions - Adapted slightly from the AA traditions

1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon unity.

2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.

3. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop [destructive behavior].

4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or [the Church] as a whole.

5. Each group has but one primary purpose-to carry its message to the [broken] who still suffers.

6. A group ought never endorse, finance or lend the name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.

7. Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.

8. [The Church] should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.

9. [The church], as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.

10. [The church] has no opinion on outside issues; hence the Name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.

12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

Amen, Lord. Let it be.

Watch for the Good Stuff

2009-10-14T16:26:00.008-06:00

I forced myself out into the wintery wind. Everyone on the sidewalk of my street seemed to be wearing light layers, but the news report claimed that the windchill was below freezing. I had three goals in mind before going to the university vocal club in the evening:

1. Pick up package at post office.

Normally the five blocks to the post office is a somewhat pleasant experience. It's not the prettiest walk to the Suedbahnhof (south train station), but I rarely go that way so it's nice to see that part of the neighborhood. But, today I realized that the Bahnhof is actually at the top of a hill and is rather exposed to the elements. I took my trolley along to put the package in (and to help complete my next goal), but when I rounded the last corner, the trolley went airborne! It's very awkward to fly a kite/trolley while crossing the eight-laned Gurtle. I felt like a spectacle except everyone was just trying to walk in a straight line with their heads tucked so I don't think they noticed my wheels occasionally crashing on the pavement.

I made my way to the office where all my packages end up. I keep hoping that I'd have a repeat attendant so maybe I could make a nodding acquaintance at the post, but somehow their employee turn around is faster than my package delivery. I wait in line til it's my turn. I step up; after six months here I know the drill. The attendant mumbles something I'm positive is not German, at least not Hochdeutsch, and walks away. I stand there awkwardly. The guy behind me goes to the next available attendant. Everyone is comfortable with whatever that man said. For the thousandth time in this city, I feel five years old. I'm old enough to play along, but I have no idea what the grown-ups are up to. I obediently pulled out my Louisiana Driver License and package receipt and wait.

He finally returned, smiled at me ****first occurrence at the post office!!! I'm excited!***** then, he frowned shoved the receipt across the counter and growled, "Blah blah blah Taubstummengasse bleh". To add insult to injury, the name of the street that I SHOULD have taken my little piece of paper to - a friend of mine once explained to me that this phrase translates to "deaf and dumb street". Well, clearly, I belong there. But, it's too late to get there on foot in time.

Goal 2. Stop by a neighborhood cafe, get a kleiner Brauner, and connect with someone.

I fly my trolley back down the hill and turn toward home. I'm miserable. All the negative little voices that had been hiding in the shadows squeal with devilish delight as I decide the other two goals were not that important. I don't need to bond with anyone at the cafe and I don't need groceries. The package that my mother sent to me is out of reach forever - well at least until that office opens in the morning. Plus, if you freeze to death you don't need friends or tomatoes. Suddenly all those years of complaining about New Orleans summers seemed trite compared to the thought of six months of winter in Vienna. My skin aches at the chill. But, as I reach the third block I see the soft glow of a little neighborhood bakery that by some miracle of God was not closed yet. And they have an espresso machine.

I step up into the warm embrace of this island of comfort; two ladies greet me sweetly and the owner asks me if I need coffee. Yes! I do NEED it. I need it if I'm going to learn to love the fact that Vienna doesn't know how to the gentle Fall into Winter. And I need it if I'm going to get to the grocery store. She sees my eyes wander to the few remaining pastries and cookies. I haven't indulged in a long time and this is my moment to have just a little something sweet. But, horror, as she walks across the room with a kleiner Brauner and Krampfen, I realize, "Oh, Nein! Ich habe kein Geld!" and I open my wallet for her to see I only had receipts where euros should go. She soothed me back to my place and told me to enjoy - that she is closing up shop so I must eat and drink. I could pay her back some other time. I told her where I lived to give her some assurance that I would come back very soon. I have never loved all the mothers of Austria so much.

3. Pick up groceries and cleaning supplies.

After such an uplifting experience, and I realize my trolley is still empty, I fill that baby to the brim. Everything that I could possibly need in the next six months (okay, I'll probably have to go back in a few days) go in. With such a full trolley there was no taking the stairs so I waited for the "four person" elevator of my building to work its way down. A lady, who I must admit kind of scares me, walked up. She must be in her 70's and until recently I was sure she was the product of years of drug use. But today she not only slurred a greeting, she actually chatted with me! And she suggested that she go in to the lift before my trolley and me since I lived below her. I didn't know what to say. I mostly just nodded and tried to look sweet until I could drag out my trolley and wish her a beautiful evening. I love when people surprise you.

4. Uni Vocal club

I was late. Really late. Somehow I missed that this first Wednesday evening session would start at 8 rather than 8:30. But I got there and 8:40. I stood there for an eternity - until the automatic hall lights turned off - outside the locked doors. What could I do? I had told everyone that I was going to do this as a way to meet people, but this class was mandatory attendance! If I didn't do things just right I was going to have to admit to the world that I was a slacker that can't get to class on time. (Anyone who knew me in college already knows this very well, but I was hoping I had out grown this.)

But just as I has slid dejectedly down the wall and plopped on the floor, two ladies walked up the stairs and asked me what was wrong. I tried to explain in German, but eventually gave up and switched to English which, natürlich, they both spoke perfectly. Fortunately, they were the ladies to talk to: the ladies with the key to the classroom and offices, the ladies to pay off, and the ladies to discuss just how university class etiquette works. They were very gracious. Plus, I may have mistakenly given myself some clout with the students who watched me walk in late with those women and then leisurely join the singing. :-) If they only knew.

At the end of the day I have two conclusions: Life is always more complicated than I anticipate. And, my God wishes to bless me through this beautiful mess.

What are these here for?

2009-09-26T08:27:00.006-06:00

This weekend I've been thinking on many things, but I suppose it comes down to flight. However, the two analogies I'm using are not exact parallels, so bare with me. And welcome to the way my brain works:

A Modern Parable* of Kierkegaard’s:
A certain flock of geese lived together in a barnyard with high walls around it. Because the corn was good and the barnyard was secure, these geese would never take a risk. One day a philosopher goose came among them. He was a very good philosopher and every week they listened quietly and attentively to his learned discourses. 'My fellow travellers on the way of life,' he would say, 'can you seriously imagine that this barnyard, with great high walls around it, is all there is to existence?

'I tell you, there is another and a greater world outside, a world of which we are only dimly aware. Our forefathers knew of this outside world. For did they not stretch their wings and fly across the trackless wastes of desert and ocean, of green valley and wooded hill? But alas, here we remain in this barnyard, our wings folded and tucked into our sides, as we are content to puddle in the mud, never lifting our eyes to the heavens which should be our home.

The geese thought this was very fine lecturing. 'How poetical,' they thought. 'How profoundly existential. What a flawless summary of the mystery of existence.' Often the philosopher spoke of the advantages of flight, calling on the geese to be what they were. After all, they had wings, he pointed out. What were wings for, but to fly with? Often he reflected on the beauty and the wonder of life outside the barnyard, and the freedom of the skies.

And every week the geese were uplifted, inspired, moved by the philosopher's message. They hung on his every word. They devoted hours, weeks, months to a thoroughgoing analysis and critical evaluation of his doctrines. They produced learned treatises on the ethical and spiritual implications of flight. All this they did. But one thing they never did. They did not fly! For the corn was good, and the barnyard was secure!"

*An English translation as quoted by Athol Gill, The Fringes Of Freedom: Following Jesus, Living Together, Working For Justice. (Lancer, Homebush West, NSW) pp. 30f.

~~
I am also reminded of a memory from high school. I came upon a newly emerged imago. As I looked at her wide body and wet wings, I thought of how this butterfly could not fly until her wings unfolded and dried; until that time she would be extremely vulnerable to predators. Some butterflies' wings take up to three hours to dry. I looked at the butterfly wondering if she was going to live. She wasn't moving her wings much and I so desperately wanted to help. I knew that my presence would keep away predators, but what if something was wrong? Of course eventually my attention was taken from the delicate process and when I returned the butterfly was gone. I had no idea if she had spread her wings to taste her first nectar or if she had become food herself.

~~
I often think about that moment because I feel that way with people, too. I see something new, the potential for great beauty and grace in a person's life. Perhaps they are awake for the time because of new life in Christ. Or maybe they have been healed from something that was crippling them and they felt their freedom for the first time.

But there is so much that can go wrong and I can not change the nature of life.

I pray that I will be a catalyst to encourage those emerging from chrysalises or eggs to spread their wings and fly. Because if we are content to stay on the ground and the patterns of the world of the barn yard we are born in, we will be eaten without ever experiencing what we were created to do.

love that adult butterflies are called imago because it reminds me that Christ is the, "image of the Invisible God," and, "If anyone is in Christ he is a new creation . . . that is, in Christ God was reconciling himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He had committed the message of reconciliation to us." (2 Corinthians 5:17,19) When we become a new creation in Christ, we are most our true selves, the image of God. (Genesis 1:27)

The only way I know to encourage flight is to fly myself rather than just talk about it. And for that I need to work on my wings (connection with God with knowledge and intimacy) and become sensitive to the Wind (God's Spirit). Then of course I keep an eye out for predators.

Don't let this world clip our wings - to nod at glorious ideas and never actually live. But vigorously flap our newly created wings, find a sunny spot, and fight for the taste of life.

Here's my question for you. Is it better to be in a barn yard, safe from predators but stifled from your true purpose? Or be in the wild where there are predators as no one to tell you anything at all?

My conclusion: I think you end up lunch either way if you don't get your wings and use them.

Further comtemplation:
Colossians 1:9-29

Mr. Bluesky

2009-09-24T06:10:00.002-06:00

[So, clearly, I'm listening to ELO right now. Always reminds me of rockin' out in my brother's VW.]

In the past couple of weeks so much has happened internally and externally. I can't begin to tell all the stories, but enough to say that suddenly I have more to do than I thought possible. It's so incredible.

After almost 6 months of looking for a language partner and just being frustrated in that, I had two leads today!?! There's a Swedish girl in my Deutschkurs who told me that a German friend of her's wants a partner and she immediately thought of me. :-D I gave her my information. Let's hope it works out!

And then when I just checked my mail one of my co-workers found a site that he found a partner with really quickly. - Of course V speaks way better German than me. But, I'm going to try.

And, I as soon as I can get my paperwork finished I'm going swimming! Yippee!

What to Do Until Things Start "Happening":

2009-09-08T08:14:00.005-06:00

1: Do all that paperwork you usually hate - check

2: Spend more time with God - This is key, but I've also been sleeping a lot.

3: Start a new blog - check

4: Read all those things you haven't gotten to yet - oh yeah, doing that!

5. Pray for the people you have met - what was that girl's name again? . . Where's that list?

6. Give yourself little projects to get a sense of accomplishment - eeh.

7. Go outside and join the world. - good idea.

8. Shop for supplies for those little projects. - even better idea! I'm off to Libro supply store~

I like Vienna

2009-09-03T15:14:00.002-06:00

I do. Some times I hear negative comments about Germanic cultures, and I agree that it has it's weaknesses. But I just want to be on record that you do not have to believe all the hype.

True, they are sticklers for rules some times. Today I watched a lady in a minivan (they are rare, but they do exist here) almost get hit by a car that "failed to yield to traffic". What does she do? She stops in the middle of the intersection, just so that not only is she blocking three lanes of traffic, she also manages to make the cross walk impassable. WHY? Because she want to yell at the car that almost hit her and to get his license plate number to tell on him! She must have an amazing memory because she made a lot of fuss, as the cars piled up trying to find out why they can't go, of getting his plates by actually only looks at the plate for about .8 seconds. NO one seemed shocked or even amused by this. The driver that she was yelling at hardly commented back. Apparently this is how your supposed to handle an almost-wreck.

But there is a much more pleasant side to this. On the way out to visit those friends, I was reading on the U-bahn. At one of the stops my Eis Tee slipped out of being wedged from my knee at the wall and fell on the floor. The guy across from me immediately picked it up and handed it to me. I grinned up and him and said my sweetest, "Danke" to which he looked away as though I shouldn't draw attention to what he did. Or maybe I shouldn't have made eye contact. That's possible. And then almost immediately the young man next to me hopped up because an elderly lady got on the car. Then, when it was her stop she said, "Thank you so, this is my stop you can have your place." I wanted to hug everybody on the train. They lie when they say that people are cold here. They are just very very regimented.

Now if I can just find out the appropriate response to that man who stared at me off and on the whole time I was on the train and in the my train station. I mean, he turned around at the escalator to get a better look - and there was no one behind me. I mean, he was dressed nicely and usually his gaze was more, "Do I know you?" to "I can't believe anyone would wear what you have on." But, super creepy anyway because, you know, 15 minutes of studying me?! I know that staring is much more acceptable in Europe, but this was more than I was comfortable with. If I were in America I probably would have given him my most sarcastic face but that might have been taken as an invitation, so I just ignored it and slipped into the crowd at the top of the station, making sure he was far ahead of me and going a different direction before heading home. Any suggestions on creepy staring people?

Sand

2009-08-30T10:13:00.002-06:00

Today I didn't go to church.

My internal clock has shifted thanks to the warm weather we've been having so that I haven't been going to sleep before 3am all week. I know that I could have gone anyway, and if I were more disciplined I would have, but the thought of waves of German washing over me just sounded staggering. Instead I've been listening to David Platt's Cross of Christ from his Secret Church series. And now I'm starting to think that these truths from scripture are washing over the same way! But, how inspiring, how empowering is the cross?!

I am most awed by the thought, the simple statement of the Gospel: Man replaced God as mans' authority and thereby sinned against God and separated man from God. So God replaced man as the object of justice to reconcile man back to God.

There are so many other jewels that I heard today, but I feel like they fall through my hands like dry sand. Hah! I'm actually praying that the Living Water would clump up these ideas so that I can hand them over to others.

Too many metaphors today?
Sorry.
Welcome to my abstract brain.

So, in a bit I'm going to go have dinner with some international believers who live in Vienna. I think this is church enough today. Maybe more church than a "worship service". Pray for conversation and relationships that will glorify our King. :-)

Neighbor #1 (Tunnels)

2009-08-22T03:52:00.003-06:00

It never fails to amaze me the impact of music on me, and how the songs that have impacted me encompass everything everything I was experiencing in the moment.

One of my earliest album obsession was the Beach Boys Endless Summer. My brother and I played my father's LP over and over again to transport us in this magical world of beaches and girls who are celebrated just for being from California.

I have to admit that I was a strange pre-pubescent because of my obsession with Iron Butterfly's In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida. I guess I was going through the history of twentieth century music working through my parent's LP collection. I listened to that organ solo with awe who knows how many time, just sitting on the floor of my room. NO wonder I didn't fit in; I was about 30 years off from everyone.

Alanis Morssette's Jagged Little Pill even though it came out years before, will forever be the angsty blasting music of riding around with my college girl friends, angry at who knows what and having a blast screaming out the words together. Strangely, that album will always have a sense of community attached to it for me. I got rid of that album years ago, but I can't hear a song without being on the I40 in Knoxville.

Another Album that is forever locked in my college mind is Over the Rhine's Good Dog Bad Dog. It's a pretty obscure little album but my group of coffeehouse ragamuffins adored that album. I can't hear "Don't speak; words come out your eyes" without being at the girls' apartment with Brantley and Stephen melting us into melancholy bliss. "Ecetera, Whatever, I guess all I mean is we're gonna be alright." . . .

Then there are the post-Katrina albums. I remember crossing the causeway for the first time, the water's were still high from Hurricane Rita. My co-worker and new friend Rachel played Sufjan Steven's Seven Swans and that moment still comes into my head when I hear "the Transfiguration". I was having one of that God's fearing moments where I really had never been before. I feared that the water would lap over the bridge, but I also feared what I would see on the other side of that bridge. (for my xanga blog from that time period check this link and this out.) The song reminded me, fear not:

Lost in the cloud, a voice: Have no fear! We draw near!
Lost in the cloud, a sign: Son of man! Turn your ear!
Lost in the cloud, a voice: Lamb of God! We draw near!
Lost in the cloud, a sign: Son of man! Son of God!

And the next January after I moved back onto a "real" bed - sharing a futon with my generous roommate who understood my need to back in the city in any condition - rather than the cots of Riverside BC. The first track of Arcade Fire's Funeral. (This is what inspired me to write this entry, as you can see by the title.) Never have I had such a perfect musical representation of my emotions of the time, even though the lyrics are not telling the story I was going through. Somehow, I feel, it gives voice to my feelings of living at the beginning of a new world when they old one has ended and ill equipped to deal with this new world. The whole album has these hollow sounds and themes that I needed to voice from my heart.

Sometimes We remember our bedrooms and our parent's bedrooms
and the bedrooms of our friends
Then we think of our parents...
Well, whatever happened to them?!

You change all the lead sleeping in my head to gold
As the day grows dim, I hear you sing a golden hymn
It's the song I've been trying to sing...

Purify the colors, purify my mind
Purify the colors, purify my mind
And spread the ashes of the colors over this heart of mine!

This song came up in my play list today while I was cleaning my wonderful apartment in Vienna with more room than I know what to do with and, and suddenly I was driving on I610 dodging staircases (yes - I did have to dodge a staircase once on I640!) with tear blurred eyes wondering if things were the "same" anywhere and if I wanted to be there or if I was alright with this new, broken but growing world I lived in. At the time I decided that I did want to live and love New Orleans. My friend, Andrew, had lent Funeral to me and I bought it as soon as possible. That album stayed in my car and again and again the first track would be an anthem of acknowledging pain while choosing to live and find a new new normal.

I am trying to find a new normal again. The surroundings are so much more pleasant than my almost post-apocalyptic state I was in there, but sometimes harshly foreign. And I don't have the music for this yet. I have all these songs from past lives that don't speak to what I'm going though.

Any suggestions?

Psalms 139

2009-08-17T08:20:00.002-06:00

I know, it looks like I'm cheating again, but no! I am declaring that it is my intention to memorize this Psalm. The Spirit brought this to mind while I was sitting above the clouds last week. And, today it seems just as important. So, I'm committing it, in full this time, to heart.

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.

1O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
2You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
5You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
6Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.

7Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
11If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,"
12even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.

13For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16Your eyes saw my unformed substance;in your book were written,
every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.

17How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18If I would count them, they are more than(X) the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.

19Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
20They speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vain!
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
22I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.

23Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
24And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!

Encouragment through Poet's Voice

2009-08-15T16:19:00.002-06:00

I know this is totally cheating, but I was reading Beth Ferguson's blog and needed to take hold of this poetry and share it with anyone unlucky enough not to read Beth's posts.

WE must not force events, but rather make
The heart soil ready for their coming, as
The earth spreads carpets for the feet of Spring,
Or, with the strengthening tonic of the frost,
Prepares for Winter. Should a July noon
Burst suddenly upon a frozen world
Small joy would follow, even tho’ that world
Were longing for the Summer. Should the sting
Of sharp December pierce the heart of June,
What death and devastation would ensue!
All things are planned. The most majestic sphere
That whirls through space is governed and controlled
By supreme law, as is the blade of grass
Which through the bursting bosom of the earth
Creeps up to kiss the light. Poor puny man
Alone doth strive and battle with the Force
Which rules all lives and worlds, and he alone
Demands effect before producing cause.

How vain the hope! We cannot harvest joy
Until we sow the seed, and God alone
Knows when that seed has ripened. Oft we stand
And watch the ground with anxious brooding eyes
Complaining of the slow unfruitful yield,
Not knowing that the shadow of ourselves
Keeps off the sunlight and delays result.
Sometimes our fierce impatience of desire
Doth like a sultry May force tender shoots
Of half-formed pleasures and unshaped events
To ripen prematurely, and we reap
But disappointment; or we rot the germs
With briny tears ere they have time to grow.
While stars are born and mighty planets die
And hissing comets scorch the brow of space
The Universe keeps its eternal calm.
Through patient preparation, year on year,
The earth endures the travail of the Spring
And Winter’s desolation. So our souls
In grand submission to a higher law
Should move serene through all the ills of life,
Believing them masked joys.
~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox

On the Way

2009-08-13T15:07:00.003-06:00

Wrote this on the train. I'm sorry that things don't come out of me like they used to, but this probably only bothers me. Anyway, this is what I was thinking about:

I’ve been riding since Geneva, three countries and four trains ago. Sometimes looking at the beautiful views, thinking, and sometimes sleeping. I love how trains rock me to sleep. Right now I’m watching out the window, experiencing my first train ride in the rain somewhere in Germany or Austria, I’m not sure where. As much as I have loved the sun shine the past week, I’ve missed the rain and welcome the gray sky. As I look back on the past two weeks or so, I’m taken aback by God’s great hand revealing itself so clearly. I think of my grandfather’s death. How surprisingly it reminded me of my purpose to rescue the perishing; of the worship with my fellow workers; of tears of awe and gratitude.

Right now I’m reminded of a week ago. Last Thursday walking home from dinner, many of us found the steep wooded path back to the hotel too dark. I remembered that I had a small flashlight (thanks to my mother’s passion for them) in my day pack. After I guided my own group, to lighter places, I guided others who were behind us. Martha remarked as I guided her group that this was symbolic of my life’s mission and I agree with her. All the same, as I get closer to home, I wonder what that will look like. I feel so ill prepared.

My mind goes back to yesterday, when I was hanging from a gondola with my aunt and uncle, visibly trembling and clutching my aunt hand as we ascended to a peak of Mont Blanc. I felt so completely out of control and so at awe of the scope of the thing we were climbing at a rocking pace. At times I thought there was no way I could survive. There as an silence among my fellow travelers that told me even the well worn travelers were not immune to the sheer magnitude of the heights we were taking on. Of the view. Of God’s majesty stretched across miles and miles in clear view; above the tree line; above the clouds; where the snow never melts away. We reached the top and I was exhilarated by the views and the adventurers who had clearly climbed their way there; People who had camped on the mountain top. I felt so ashamed of myself for trembling at the thought of taking the gondola back down, but I had no idea what to expect. As it turned out, the trip was not a harrowing as I feared. I was able to marvel at the sites without fear of death.

I pray that I similar thing will happen with my life work. I pray I will have the courage to face the heights far beyond me. I pray that will be challenged by those far more accomplished than me. I pray I will find that I can marvel without fear of anything but the awe of pleasing God.

When Dreams Wake

2009-08-08T16:13:00.002-06:00

Today was grueling. I have to admit, because everyone I was in contact with today knows it, I spent most of the day in a wad of self pity. Nothing deeply upsetting; everything was just a little off from my expectation. And, my shoulders are rugburned from my backpack. But, I'm tired of all that now. Now, I thinking about the fact that I'm sitting in a parlor in London. I just had delicious Afghan food - that's still deciding what it thinks of my stomach.

I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with double-decker buses gliding through these tiny streets. Sitting in the front window of the second story is too much like some dreams I've had of flying. Which made me think that really all I've been doing lately is living out all my favorite dreams. I've wanted to go to London since my mother came home with a tea set from her trip to the UK when I was five years old. I've longed to live in Europe. I've dreamed of opening my mouth and something other than English comes out.

These waking dreams are not as easy. They are humiliating and sometimes unnerving. But, I am living the dreams God has given me. I pray I have the courage to continue to live them all out. And, tomorrow I'll wake into my dreams again.

Til then I must sleep to make new dreams for the future.

Transitioning

2009-07-31T11:33:00.002-06:00

I know, I would be thinking, "again"? But, yes. I'm realize that's I'm transitioning again.

This past month has been hard. Hard to get up in the morning. Hard to make my mouth make the sounds it's only made for a few months. Hard to make myself pick up the phone. Hard to see my parents leave after a whirl wind trip around Vienna, Prague and Zurich. Hard to not go to my grandfather's funeral.

I'm not saying this isn't a wonderful life. My friend Ambra is going through the same thing in Milan and I think she's written it much better than me here. I can't wait to see her and Jenn again. So we can exchange stories and . . . I can't wait for this meeting. I feel like it's the night before Christmas - except we have to ride a train for 8 hours to get to the presents!

I'm also looking forward to another whirlwind trip after the conference to England, France, and Switzerland. I'm hoping that all this, besides being a wonderful adventure and time of togetherness with the people I love, it is a time to "pop out of gear" before setting in on a new phase of my time in Wien without full time language school. I'm gathering up my courage as we speak to really dive in when I get back. To let go as I haven't before. To seek out opportunities to grow and invest.

If You Pray . . .

2009-07-06T07:00:00.001-06:00

Today (6 July) I started on the fourth book of my German course. I'm still struggling thought, but I'm so motivated to really get all my verbs down so I'll make sense! And, I'm still loving the language. I agree with my friend Maggie, I love how expressive it is.

My friendship with B has all but stopped. She no longer answers my calls. I don't know if she is out of town or what.

The good news!!! is that I met a girl this past weekend who is the daughter of the neighbor of my teammates, the Ingrims. I was with them when the Ings gave her a Bible in a modern translation along with a simple reading guide. A wants to learn more about God and is thinking of getting Baptized in her Catholic church. We exchanged info and I wrote her an e-mail yesterday. Please pray she will want to get together - especially that the Bible and other spiritual things will come up in conversation so we can make sure she understands the Gospel and that that she is being equipped to share the Good News with her friends.

Friday was Mag's last day in Vienna and we had a wonderful time together. She has a renewed sense of purpose as an opera singer and seems focused on continuing to honoring the Lord with her life! Pray for her as she returns to her school that they will recognize her growth and a singer and as a woman and that she will have opportunities to share Christ through that.

Continue to pray that God will give me patience during full time language learning. I want to be out there connecting, but there is a definite language and time issue because I feel like I'm always studying. Please pray that I will get lots of language partners so I can learn fast and so I can have some German speaking friends!

The Bordens left for the USA for six months on 18 June. Please continue to celebrate and pray over C's recovery. She is cancer free, and has shocked her caregivers, but still has a lot of healing to do after surgery. Also, pray for our team as we get used to life without our leaders close.

Preparation

2009-07-03T04:02:00.005-06:00

(Written mostly last week)

Today I am sitting on a new bed that I have been working on assembling for the past three days. The frame itself was rather heavy and it turned out that I hadn't purchased the reinforcement bar that goes down the center of the bed. I had quite an adventure on the hottest day we've had yet getting to Ikea via a long U-bahn ride and a bus. Then I tried very hard to seem that I didn't think it was odd for carry and meter long five cm sq piece of greasy metal through the public system. Actually, no one seemed to care but me. I mean, the Ell's transported my leather bench from Caritas (charity used store in town) to my apartment the same way. Clearly, the system is used to people who don't have cars needing to move things from the store to their homes. My little American brain is just not used to it.

Then, I discovered that the wooden slates that Ikea uses rather than boxsprings was a big, difficult puzzle that took the amount of time to listen to three chick flicks from the other room - on my newly functioning DVD player! By the time Audrey Hepburn was falling in love in Paris When is Sizzles, I was confident that I had done a good enough job to try out for the night. Just a little bit of adjustments and it's the most comfortable bed I've ever had - and I've had some good beds.

This is all in preparation for my parents coming to see me next weekend. I'm so excited about our plans to see the sights of Zurich, Vienna, and Prague. I'm sure there will be a post about this soon. :)

Before Coming to Vienna

2009-06-25T10:40:00.003-06:00

My parents are coming to Vienna to visit me in a few weeks so I've been thinking of how to prepare them for their experience in the exciting everyday life. And, I'm realizing their is a growing list of words I wish I had known from day one. This is mainly for my parents, but those in the know are welcome to correct and seggest other words!

Hello: Grüß Gott!, Servus!, Hallo!
It's polite to say hello to shop workers, anyone who is serving you in some way, people staying the the same building as you, and people you've met before. Greeting other people, depending on the situation, could be seen silly to them but won't do any harm. I've found that "Servus" is more light-hearted and sometimes flirtatious so I don't say it to strangers because I'm not sure how they will take it - but it's good to know what others say to you.

Thank you: Danke!, Danke schön, Danke sehr!, Vielen Dank für ___. (Many thanks for ___.)
The people in my neighborhood grocery always say Danke sehr so I've started to pick it up. Vielen Dank is the best response when somone goes out of their way for you.

No thank you: Nein danke, Gar nichts.
You will say Nein danke more than you can possibly imagine to street vendors and ticket sellers. Trust me, NEVER say "no thank you" if you can POSSIBLY keep it in when you are walking in touristy areas. That's like blood to a shark. Save Gar nichts for those moments when they won't leave you alone. It means "nothing at all".

Excuse me: Entschuldigung! [en- chul -di-gung]
There are many variations to pronouncing this, so just emphasize the "chu" and you'll communicate. :) Sometimes people sound like their sneezing on the U-Bahn! This is also the best way to get the attention of the your server.

Push: drücken
This is important for not looking like a fool while leaving a building or trying to get in one. I wish I had known this three four months ago.

Pull: ziehen
Just for contrast - if you learn one you'll be fine.

Entrance: Eingang ("ein" means in)

Exit: Ausgang, ("aus" means out)
There are signs all over the city that warn pedestrians of driveways that cross the sidewalks with "Ausfahrt" which literally translates to "outdrive"

Emergency: Notfall
As in: Do not go through doors marked "Notausgang"

Help: Hilfe
This is the same as the English - it can mean assistance in any way. You're most likely to hear this when someone is asking, "Kann ich Ihnen helfen?" (Can I help you?) If you do have an Notfall and need Helfe, call 133. The operators should speak English so no worries.

I'd like to pay my bill: Ich möchte bezahlen. [ix mux-te be tsah-len], zahlen?
They will not bring you the bill until you ask for it. Depending on the situation just a motion to you wallet is enough, but sometimes I feel like I have to beg. By then they know you can't speak German (and that Americans tend to tip) so they will try to be helpful. When in doubt, say Bitte! It is a catch all polite-ness word. This is also great for ordering. If you can't pronouce something, just say, "Bitte, ich möchte" and point to the menu.

May I ____? Darf ich ... ?
This is important, but you'll need to learn some verbs for this to work. Still I say this and motion what ever I want to do that I'm not sure is appropriate. This came in handy when I had the mind to ask the doorman when I saw quite a commotion of foreign officials leaving a hotel in a parade of flag-marked cars. He responded in English, "I would not . . . ," looking very wary at the gentlemen in uniform a couple of feet from us holding big guns. Lesson learned. Asking first is smart.

Goodbye Auf Wiedersehen!, baba, Tschüss! [af vedersen] [bas-bah] [choos]
To people you're not friends with, you'll pretty much want to stick with nothing more casual than "Wiedersehen!" But, if someone says "Tschüss!" feel free to say it in reply. It really sounds a lot like "choose" sung because people tend to say it in their upper register. "baba" is pretty much baby or sweet talk, so you'll probably only say that to me or five year old Libby.

OK, that's all I can think of for now.
Any questions?

Hmmm. Obsessive Compulsive?

2009-06-23T15:18:00.004-06:00

I used to give my mother a hard time about her obsession with flashlights. It seemed once a month she would hand me another one in case I had car trouble at night on a dark deserted street or the electricity went out and I HAD to see where I was going really really well . . . But I just realized that I've lived in Austria for three months, and I have four pairs of scissors - just for convenience. Did I mention I live in a two bedroom "Cabinet" apartment???

It is a sickness.

Things are moving slowly here, but God is so good to always give me a glimpse of what he's doing in the Vienna. I just met a very like minded Catholic guy. We could have talked the Gospel, Chesterton and Lewis up all day. And this weekend I met up with a couple I had not seen since we met in Moscow two years ago who want to work and live in Vienna if they can get the funding they need to stay. I love that they came for the summer to do what they can - and they already seem to be hitting the ground running working with refugees and other internationals living in Vienna. And there's M who always amazing me with her young mind that always seems to how to not only understand but also sees how to obey the Scripture when she reads James with me. I wish we all had such insight, but I am encouraged but what God shows her and I'm so excited to be apart of her growth.

Alright - those are my random thoughts for the night.
Gute Nacht.

Recovery

2009-06-08T10:20:00.002-06:00

Compared to what some of my friends throughout the world have to deal with, I was not sick last week. I just had a little bug. But, I was pretty much flattened out by it, and I found out that three of my co-workers had the same thing. And, yes, because I'm a stupid American and went back to school too soon, now both of the people who sat next to me last week are "sehr krank". But they were in class when they were clearly still contagious so I don't feel so bad.Who knows, maybe we'll keep passing it around our little class of 13. There was a major leap in the vocabulary of my classmates when I switched classes, so I might appreciate a few days head start on some of them. Just kidding.

My days are still very full of studying, studying, going to the opera, and studying. If my internet connection continues to behave I should have some pictures from the opera house up shortly. I loved getting to see Lucia in the standing room area. That alone deserves a nice long entry, but I just can't pull myself together to share the trama of long lines, fighting, people getting thrown out of line, and the battle to the "best" spots. I had no idea that going to the opera could be a contact sport. Welcome to Vienna! But, of course the perfomance was incredible no matter where you ended up if you could get the tourists to stop whispering explanations and the lastest news on the GM situation.

In other news, my window boxes are slowly taking shape to enliven our very depressing courtyard. I just planted some English ivy. I asked about five different people at the Nauchmarkt what they are called in German, but when I found someone, to be honest, it just sounded like heavy breathing, like "Echeh" or something. My friend from the end stall walked me around from flower stall to flower stall with my purchases unpaid trying to find someone who could tell me because she is not a native speaker. She could only tell me how to care for it, which is all I really needed. All the same, I'm glad I found some evergreen for my place. I also planted a potato that was going bad in a bare place and it's coming up beautifully. I'm not sure it will stay pretty, but for now I'm thankful for a little green.

Well, back to German lessons.

Thanks Ed

2009-05-26T13:59:00.006-06:00

I was sitting at my desk looking up the past and imperative tense of the 40 most common German verbs, and as you can probably imagine, my mind was wandering. I drifted to Twitter for the tenth time and I noticed Ed Stezer's twitter asking why "missional" Christians are not into missions. From the context that Ed is traveling through Europe right now, I'm assuming that he meant that they are not into cross-cultural communication of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Thinking about his Twitters and blogs, I got to thinking:

A little background to catch you up:

"Missional" Christians believe that Jesus is who he said he is. The Bible is a perfect gift from God that reveals the Truth to us and, together with the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives, we are changed into the likeness of Christ - and this is where life gets interesting. We recognize people who haven't converted think that we live strangely.

Christians throughout history have responded in different ways, but missional Christians live their lives in community that intentionally strip off the "Christidom" stuff. We live like our non-believing neighbors in every way except that our lives are focused on Christ and the community He builds. We are activist citizens believing that people can change their own culture for the better. And, we make friends with the hope that they will see our hearts and after conversations, looking through the Bible, working with us, and that mystery of the Holy Spirit working in their lives, they will choose for themselves to follow Jesus.

But, our brothers in faith are concerned that we are not crossing cultures and therefore are not obeying the Great Commission that is Jesus' last command to His disciples recorded in the Bible.

MY POINT IS:

Christians who are really "missional" are focused on their own people group. And, a person can only focus on one culture at a time and have a chance of actually be part of it or have a positive impact. I also believe that cultures can only be changed by those who are from within. No social justice can be created or preserved without those who are within the community to demand it.

Starting with worldview, the complexities of life within a culture are enthralling. So, if you are paying attention to what your neighbors think about life, how that effects their opinions. If you are looking deeper at what is important and how you can change the world, meaning you're ten block radius starting in your own circle of friends - well starting with you. Those who are doing this are glorifying God and changing people's minds about God. Maybe it's because God wants to use His people to be the changes and the miracles that everyone in the world is starving for.

Obviously, I have personal reasons to pull out and go some where completely different and become a child again - so that people who would not otherwise understand will have a chance to see and hear the Gospel in my life. But, I've been called and equipped to leave and become a perpetual catalyst/learner outsider, rather than an activist insider. (There are many reasons why I pro missions, but that's not they point of this entry.)

It's hard when you're already deeply invested in people's lives to pull away and focus somewhere else where you know that the object of focus will never become completely clear. It's hard to learn a new language knowing you will never get the subtle jokes. I love it, was made for it, and I thank God every day for it. But, I do not expect every believer to cross cultures just because most English translations of the Bible says "go" instead of the Greek's "as you are going."

Looking to the future:

So I say to those who are still in your home networks: If you will focus on loving God and loving people in your own community, it will change the world more than if everyone went on "mission."

I hope, that's what missional churches are doing. As they mature and get to know their communities, they will see that their community is already connected to communities all over the world. And, I pray that they will act on those relationships, rather manufacture activity out of obligation. Networks are already in place all over the world, and if they are activated, who knows what could happen.

Ciao, Bella!

2009-05-11T08:22:00.002-06:00

Yep, I actually had this said to me to day, in context, by an Italian tourist who asked me directions. I was walking from Deutsch classes, so needless to say when a beautiful man pulled up in an Italian luxury car and said, "'Scusi! Eh, como stai? Lie Parla Italiano?" I had no idea what was going to come out of my mouth.

Some how, "Bene, Ja, Ein poco," came out while pinching my thumb and forefinger together. He smiled really big. "Un poco, bene."

He then said, slow and beautifully of couse, "C'è un ristorante nelle vicinanze?" and fortunately he gestured to jog my memory, "Ach, ja! Ja, muuuulti multi RistoRante am der Ringstrasse." with the most flurished rolled R's I've ever done, pointing to the major intersection up ahead of us and making a circular motion.
"Eh, Certemente, grazie. Ciao, Bella!" And he drove off.
And I thought, what language am I even speaking!?
Could "si" not comeout of my mouth once?
All well.

I wanted to call Ambre to let her know one of her people came to see me, but I'm still dont' have her number (hint, hint).

Alighting

2009-05-10T07:07:00.004-06:00

My apartment is getting settled. There are still many things to do, but they list is shrinking almost every day. This weekend has been the first time it's really sunk in that I'm here for years. Years of important moments and days that will be so very different from what I'm known before.

I can't really say that I missed my cousin's wedding yesterday because my parents took pictures of every moment from hair appointments to the last dance and many of them are already posted. When I couldn't sleep last night because I knew that T&R were "gettin' hitched," as my niece put it, at 2am my time, Paul gave the play by play with some commentary thanks to his cool phone and Skype. (He usually does something similar for Pred hockey games, so I'm glad he was well practiced.) But, I still missed so much. I missed my family's side whispers and hugs.

And, today I'm missing getting to spend time with one of my favorite people in the world. I don't get snuggle up to her and nuzzle her hair - so much like mine but white at the temples - and tell her how much I love her and why I think she's so beautiful. I can't tell her how much I brag about her; how I can't seem to let many hours go by without thinking of or doing something she taught me. I love to share the history and culture of Vienna with her because she's the one that taught me to love and learn about places and people.

At the same time, as she and I have talked about many times before it was, in part, her teaching and our relationship of shared passions that gave me the courage to come here in the first place. It is her passion for the nations that taught me to long to go to another culture. But even that would not be that meaningful if she hadn't shared with me the one person we are the most passionate about: our Lord and God, Jesus. She really taught me through her actions as well as stories that all people have cultures that enable them to uniquely experience and praise Him. And, over the years she showed me that the best teachers empower her students to become the their best selves. They teach people how to learn for the selves - what no person can give. I pray that one day I can say that I have released half the people she has from the labels and habits that people pass on to each other.

I am not saying that my mother is the only reason why I'm here by any means; however, I cannot overstate how God used her to equip me to be here. So, today I am reflecting on the life I've had with my mother and I look forward to many more years of her wisdom and grace in my life - despite the necessary distance to be able to fulfill the purpose of my work.

Love you, Momma.

Today so Far

2009-05-07T04:56:00.004-06:00

I know that those of you in the States are just starting their day, but I thought I've sahre a little of my day. (For those of you who are curious about my life.)

So, I woke at 7:30 this morning from a dream that I was a Kaiserin washing dishes. And my mother Kaiserin was completely appauled but explained that it was soothing.

I talked to God for a while but then God - or just my brain finally kicked in - gently reminded me that I had fallen asleep while watching "When We Were Kaiser" excepts and forgot to actually DO my Deutsch hausubung (homework).

So, I hurried my morning ritual - except for breakfast because muesli yogurt cannot be hurried - and walked to my U-bahn station in the flow of about twenty neighbors. I walked to the middle of the train so as to not get lost in the maze of the Karlsplatz station. I was a little disappointed because in my rush I didn't think through that the station is only two stops away so I wouldn't have time to do my Hausubung, but I might have been able to figure out the weather forecast from "Heute" (Today) the daily free paper that is half tabloid but it's free so I stare at the pictures and try to find words I know.

I was successful at passing both bakeries in that part of the station and surfaced at the right place so I could walk along B.gasse along with many classical musicians. This is about the point in time that I usually pretend that I'm going to rehearsal rather than German class. But, evetually, they all walk into the Musikakademie and I continue a few more feet to my Schole.

Class was good today, though we all seemed tired and under prepared. So, I was in good company. We learned enough today that I found out that Tob. is 19 years Old from Turkey. Tian. is from the Ukraine and she and J, aus den USA, are both divorced. They are all planning on returning home. Only the Ell's and I are staying on.

I also learned that if I say "mein freund" I mean my boyfriend, but if I say, "ein freund" we're friends. My instructor lives with Ihre Freund, so that word clearly means much more to them than "someone I know that I get along with."

But, the real test of my Deutsch was that right after class my phone rang. I'm glad I just checked my calender and was expecting a call from the inspector from Wien Engerie. I had to say in front of my teacher, "Entschuldigung, Ich spreche ein Bisschen Deatsch. Bitte, sprechen Sie Englisch?" She smiled encouragement. (Yay!) Unfortunately he only spoke a little English so we had this half and half conversation and then I high tailed it to the U-bahn not knowing if he really meant twenty minutes to my apartment or not!

I ran and caught the back of the train so as to not get lost in my train station then ran/walked up both escalators to the surface. I arrived as some of myneighbors were leaving so we all said our "Guss Gott"s. I beat the inspector but three minutes. He looked around, poked at some things, tried to explain the situation to me in technical Deutsch with the occational English to clarify that he was going to punch holes in the ceiling outside my apartment to add ventalation for my water heater, and then talked to the architect who did the renovations of the building and decided it wasn't necessary after all. I tried to act like I had something to do other than stare at him - especially sense he is my age, cute, and single.

He eventually explained that, "Alles gut blah blah blah" Deutsch. Pointed to an x that I signed next to. He asked if, "blah blah Ihre handy nummer Ok on de form?" And he headed out the door. He said, "Tut mir leid, blah blah blah alles OK."

So I said, "Kein problem, guten Tag!" because that's what you say when some says tut mir leid and they're walking away.

And now I am contemplating rye crackers with butter and jam and some hot rooibus tea for lunch.
And a nap maybe.

Feeling Rather Poor

2009-04-27T11:49:00.004-06:00

Yesterday I spent ten hours being a true Wiener. I met a girl who is born and raised here and she showed me around and we just talked, explored, drank, ate, and talked some more. I LOVE this French cafe she introduced me to and all her friends were so charming. I wish I could go into more detail. . . but I don't have much time. Enjoy pictures!

Did I mention . . .

2009-04-25T12:22:00.002-06:00

Did I mention that I fell on the escalator the other day? I've been so proud of myself for not being freaked out by the sea of escalators in public transportation stations. However, the other day my fears were re-awaken on my way to meet up with my team.

I was walking down the escalator, the only person doing down while three or four were going up because rush hour was over, when my it suddenly stopped! And, because was was already moving forward at a pretty high rate I jumped at step then tripped a couple more. This would have entertained the other riders enough, but I also squealed a bit making sure to draw attention to myself.

Why do Viennese run down escalators when things like this can happen???

Chaneling

2009-04-22T10:31:00.002-06:00

No Cable (no TV either, but that's beside the point.)
No phone (Yes, I got Cake in my head, too.)
No internet (That one's the real bummer.)

Today a UPC installer came to house and politely ignored all my drying laundry as he tried to get me all connected with the world, but after working for almost on hour he concluded that something was not right and the company will call me and make another appointment.
ct that I can see the Technical University Library and street cars from my window.

My friends have been so incredibly helpful. I already feel like family. We had a meeting this morning that was more like a house ch gathering than what I usually think of meetings. The financial and business orientation meeting is on Friday so everybody please pray that I will suddenly grow the capacity to understand money matters! I'm sure Lance, my supervisor, will be give the remedial version so I will be sure to keep up. I mean, I got my first energy bill today and I can't read it at all! That and my other bills and contracts are going with my to get this all sorted out.

Speaking of my super. Carrie is recovering beautifully after her radiation and chemo therapy. Thank you all for pring. Her sugery is coming in five weeks so pray that she'll be able to exercise so she can keep her strength up after the surgery. She's taking really good care of herself and the doctors say that the tumor is not even visible anymore, so I am confident that Father is giving her a solid cure.

Expectations

2009-04-14T07:29:00.004-06:00

Today is really almost over for me. I registered as a resident of Wien. Got a bank account, a washing machine, duvet, some other odds and ends, made an appointment to get wireless and land phone line connection, and as I hope you'll see, posted pictures.

There are few things I was not expecting:

1. People who are working are polite and some are quite gentle and helpful.
2. Vienna is quiet but not as oppressively as Moscow. People do laugh and talk in public. Just not as loudly as Americans. Although it was odd that you're not even allowed to hammer on Holidays.
3. Sadly, Crocs have infiltrated to Austrian homes, mostly as slippers to wear at home. And some adults wear them in public! This horror actually makes me feel more less like a country bumpkin. But, if I ever see them in my neighborhood (other than tourists) I'll be shocked.
4. Chuck Taylor's are the height of Holiday weekend fashion here. I can't afford them, but it's good to see them around.
5. My deodorant brand is sold in regular Walgreen-type stores.
6. Hungary is good, cheap, close shopping. I can't wait for the next shopping excursion with the ladies. They even get their hair cut there.

It All Depends on Who Asks

2009-04-12T10:25:00.004-06:00

Such a wonderfully slow day after the craziness of yesterday. I'm still a little weirded out by the German style keyboard I'm typing on right now, so pardon any typos.

Yesterday's Ikea run was very profitable for me and my new place. Seriously, I was so grateful that I was able to go in there and find things that would work for the apartment and perfect for having friends from all over enjoy with me. I went for a more modern look. No surprise that in a lot of ways, my living room is starting to look a little like a cafe. I have many dreams in my head but we'll see what really works out. I'm still just amazed, because of how Ikea does things we were able to pack a couch, two chairs, a dinging room table, a day bed (the same style as mine in the States), and plenty of other odds and ends all in the back of a mini van with one of the back seats still instaled! Not that CE as very comfortable in it I'm sure but he was a total trooper about his squished seat and then unloading all that had been squishing him. We got a fabulous parking place thanks to the Holiday lack of people so unloading was a lot easier than expected - although I should mention that I did not carry the heavy things up all those stairs. And, I have learned to love my elevator.

Speaking of floors: one of the questions I had before coming here was, "What floor is my apartment?" It was hard to tell because the number was so odd. As it ends up, if an American were to ask me, I would say "the third." If an Austrian were to ask I would say, "the second." But I would also say, "but, according to the elevator: the first." And, to add to the complication, there's a letter on my apartment "number" because my apartment was once part of another apartment, which accounts for some architectural oddities. I'm also not all together sure which button at the front of the building will actually buzz my place. Probably there will be an experiment needed tomorrow.

I wish I could post pictures, but I haven't dug my adaptor out of my bags yet and I don't feel like messing with the B's computer to upload, edit, etc. Sorry. Really I am. I want to see the pictures and read your responces, but hopefully I can get that going by Tuesday or Wednesday.

Today, the whole gang (minus one of the boys how is not feeling well and his dad) went to one of the nearby parks in the hills close to town - can't remember the village name. We walked, sang, took pictures, sang. Of course there was an Easter egg hunt. The other people at the park were entertained by us. I learned a few German terms for foods and other related topics. The picnic was amazing with lots of sandwiches, hummus, and plenty of crackers and veggies.

Speaking of, I think I'll go have some more hummus for dinner!

I live where!?!?!?

2009-04-11T01:42:00.003-06:00

I don't have much time because I haven't unpacked my power adapter and my wonderful hosts can't find any, but I just want to say that I can't believe I'm here! I'm in Vienna - that place on my mind for so long is all around me. And, my friends have been so warm and welcoming. This transition is already going easier than I thought. Now if I can only learn German . . .

I'm sitting in the B's living room with Em B and I can see amazingly cool neighboring apartment buildings (pictures to follow) and in the distance, the central district, Vienna University's Liberal Arts buildings, and beyond them the hills (that are alive with the sound of music). To their building's left is the hockey arena where the Vienna Capitals play. The parking lot under the building reminds why I don't have a car or plan to drive! It's takes skill to get to the parking level where their tiny parking place is.

Yesterday I got off the plane and was greeted by the whole gang! They loaded me into the cars and we headed to the B's where I had some time to relax and enjoy some pastries Em and Addi got from a local bakery. Then I set out with the ladies of the team to see my apartment. My U-bahn station is so much closer than I thought! And the Belvedere is practically at my doorstep! From the maps I was thinking off scale. The blocks are quite small so there is a lot within easy access. I never thought I would live near embassies, but here I am!

My building is gorgeous and pink! I just can't get over all the details in the entry. It's early Art Neveau looking. (At this point I'm even excited about our tiny dumpters and recycling recepticles int he courtyard). My mail box already had two wonderful cards from my mother and the mothers in the group took notes to remind them to do the same for their kids when they move from home. I must say, I'm a little intimidated by the cage lift in the stairwell. Good thing the stairs are an easy climb so I can avoid it. My flat is beautiful and still dusty from on-going construction so I'm very glad I get to stay elsewhere while we tie up loose ends. Looks like I can have window boxes for the many plants I keep eyeing at every shop.

As we left the building, someone was delivering a very impressive grand piano to one of my neighbors. All I saw were the legs, but by the gilding I'm guessing that not all the apartments will be as modest as mine! The few people who passed the building were mostly young and one of my friends says he saw a couple of girls my age who looked like they were moving into the building when he came by to check on my place last week. This gives me hope I may be able to make friends with my neighbors. There were no signs of life from my two closest doors, so I'm hoping I will be able to help my neighbors when they move in.

There are two little grocery shops to pick up milk and such within a few steps from my building, but the street market to too close not to go to regularly! There are fabulous cafe's and the restaurant we went to for lunch was perfect; complete with a vine covered courtyard seating and white cat. As one walks to the Belvedere the prices go up (but I can get more Klimt gift shop essentials than could ever want - including a silk scarf apparently Sharon Stone bought), but I'm hoping that if I walk the other way things will be a little more reasonable. :-)

It is spring in Vienna so flowers are EVERYWHERE. It's striking to me how similar the plants are to Tennessee - especially Knoxville. I feel very much at home here among the daffodils and those yellow blooming bushes I can't think of the name of. The air is crisp and there is not a cloud to be found. Of course there are quite a few new trees, but I'm eager to learn their names.

After our girls gathering we went to the Coop I's Birthday party. I was wiped out by then so I didn't participate in the egg dying as I was afraid it would not end well. So, instead I was given the impossible task of judging the eggs are the brilliant egg-artists. I was SO grateful when 19hr came so pizza was picked up and I knew that sleep was coming soon. I'm sure the pizza was amazing but I don't really remember other than that it was rectangular and HUGE. All I know is by 20.30 I was asleep on the most wonderful bunk-bed ever. I'm getting tired just thinking of how tired I was!

Today begins the adventure of finding the perfect furniture for my wonderful apartment - and to stay in budget while we're at it!

My last NHL Hockey Game or the Miracle of Creation

2009-04-05T13:45:00.004-06:00

These days, my mind drifts to thoughts of Vienna, but I slip back to the more comforting thoughts of the day's duties and joys. The unknown is too much for me. Better to let it come slowly as the horizon spreads across the land and the ocean.

My dear, amazingly creative friend B Chu came for the weekend and we did girlie things like get hair cut at a fabulous salon, pedicures, and a little packing with lots of conversation and hugs. She's making ADORABLE Japanese stuffed animals (Amigurumi) as her craft-project-to-sell-for-spring-clothes and it was amazing to see skeins of yarn turn into sweet cuddly creatures.

This idea of creation - wonderful things coming from the basic blacks into something miraculous just - keeps coming up in my life. I'm really struck by my nephews newness and yet how complete he is in his infancy. I can see aspects of what he will become from his still forming body. Clearly God can use us to make things. He made us to be creators, inventors, and artists. This also gives me hope that God will do a new thing through me in Vienna. As incomplete as I am, God can draw together things that naturally fall apart.

Last night my dad asked me to join him for one last hockey game. Honestly, I was not that excited to go because sports can sometimes (please DON'T tell my family) bore me a little. Add to the fact this was my last Saturday night in Nashville. . . I was just tied up in knots wanting to do everything and nothing. So I went with my father to the game, in my mind, to spend quality time with him.

What I didn't realize is that the Predators really needed to win this game to have a chance at the playoffs and that this night, of all nights, was Scout night which means there were hundreds of kids in adorable uniforms so excited to be there. When my dad suggested I stand just inside so I could see all the pre-game stuff while he stood in line to get us pizza I was touched by the scene. As ticket holders came in, the usher recognized and greeted people by name. Folks were all smiles in anticipation. The players all came out and the crowd roared. It was going to be a wonderful night.

Then, these little miniature scouts came out the colors and the American flag was highlighted as we all sang the American National Anthem. Half way in the middle of the song it hit me. This was the last time. It would never be like this again. Something new and wonderful is around the bend for me, but there will never be another night like this. The usher shyly looked my way wondering why I had tears rolling down my cheeks. I smiled and explained this was my last game before moving to Europe. "Oh, baby, go on and tear!" Nashvillians are very pro-emotion.

After sitting up in our usual section for a while, a family asked if we would trade seats with a couple of friends of theirs so they could watch the game together - so we ended up watching the rest of the game on the first level of the stadium! For the first time I could really see, hear, and feel the energy of the game. And what a game! We finally won in the third round of shots in the shoot out. I almost lost my voice I yelled so much. High fives after each score is the best kind of quality time.

IT is good to end well so that I can begin well, too.

Mein Liebling

2009-03-30T10:29:00.002-06:00

He's here!
My nephew is here.
And all those over-used sentiments about aunts and nephews are coming true. He is the brightest and most wonderful thing I've ever seen.

Every moment I look down on his little face and see his searching eyes I feel my heart get tied to him. Every grunt is precious. And he is especially cool because when he gets really mad he almost whistles like a sweek toy! This would not be good to continue to do this for very long, but at three days old it's about the funniest thing ever - except that I would do anything to make him happy again so that he'll open his eyes and search for our eyes with his wobbly head.

I'm hooked. It will be impossible to leave him. But, I will so that he can have that cool aunt who will teach him German some day, an aunt who lived in utter obedience to the God who created them both. So, this morning has been all about assessing what there is left to do before getting on that plane. This is not as fun as holding him, but I guess I should like Christy and Paul have a shot at holding their son.

What Happens Before Things Happen

2009-03-26T19:35:00.004-06:00

Tonight there is so much energy at my parents' house and not just because there's a Predators game on. My sister-in-law and brother are at Baptist hospital awaiting the coming of their son. There are probably many hours left to go so we're patiently waiting for the call to come over. I'm so thankful I get to be here for this time with my family. More family is coming in town tomorrow.

As much as I'm so looking forward to being a Viener, I would not miss a moment of this.

Learning from a Guru

2009-03-14T19:21:00.007-06:00

Today I went to a lecture by Thom Wolf, an American professor and pastor who has been living in India. The wisdom he has shared with us in just a matter of hours has really made an impact on how I will converse about the way we live and "who we listen to" in the future. First, I will listen more. And, I will ask more questions. but even when I to talk about the most important thing to me, my words are going to be a little different.

I've never felt like I could express my faith in Jesus in such a global context until today. I've made him too small and too much just my tribal God when cultural anthropology (not to mention the Bible) shows me He is the Most High God of all peoples - and they already know that if they have held on to their own people's stories. I said this before, but I do not want to import anything from America (other than fajitas and po-boys . . . Tabasco. . . ).

I won't go into it now because I fear that I won't do it justice, but he did this presentation of the history of the world (worldviews in their historical context) on a page. And not just a page but something I could scribble out on a napkin. It's a great frame work that can be fleshed out over many conversations. And, my favorite thing was that none of the information was knew (although I'm not sure I put together the fact the prophet Daniel, Confucius, and the Buddha were all at the same general window of time). It was just all put together in the big picture. Amazing point of view!

I was really challenged by his presentation so I did something I don't' usually do: I bought a book for myself and a friend who couldn't make the lecture. Then, I sat down and finished the book with in a couple of hours even though it was on a different subject from the lectures. This book was for a Indian audience on the Baliraja Proposal of the guru Mahatma Phule for the future progress of India. (Clearly, these are things I knew very little about but his writing is accessible enough to glean quite a lot from it.)

While I was reading, I noticed a theme in his book that reflected a theme Dr. Wolf taught in a separate lecture on how to be a universal disciple of Jesus - just from the teachings of the Bible. God demands of all His people: walk in faith by putting off some things and taking on other things that please Him (honesty, immigration, no idols, transparency, rejection of empty ritual, and taking on of individual religious conviction), love God and He enables us to love everyone including our enemies (compassion, accountability, conversion, invite outcastes to your table, hard work), and hope by promoting justice (education, allow outcastes to drink from your well, impartial government, gender equality, social reform).

I'm not sure how all this will flesh out in my own life, but I will be directed by these themes, these teachings, these mandates from my God. And, I hope that people in Austria will show me how God has always been working among their people and how they will see the love of Jesus and the power of His resurrection in their lives. And, how their lives will be altered for the better because they are in Christ. Life really would be so different if we obeyed the Scriptures. It is not easy, but I hope others will agree that He is so worth every drop of our sweat and blood.

Almost Spring

2009-03-04T10:14:00.004-06:00

For three days snow has covered that ground. I love how much lighter the world is because of this water that covers the ground. All this sleding and walking in snow is turning my mind to Austria like never before. Ever time I look out a window I think of true winters to come. I think of the coming spring.

Hopes and dreams are forming in my heart. (I really hope I can figure out how to actually make things happen.) I would love to do a website that people can go to to pray for the different neighborhoods of Vienna. I want to pray around the boarders and see the characters of each place and share with other people so they can catch the vision.

I can't wait to see my apartment and my coffeehouse; my streetcar stop; my u-bahn stop. I want to see the faces of the people there. I long to walk through the botanical gardens and find my favorite spot. I want to meet my future friends. I want to find out how to order coffee; I want to find my new rhythms. I can't wait to take ballroom. I hope I can find people who love jazz.

As you can see my mind and heart are leaving this place.
Pray I can finish well here so I can start well there.

Why Are They Called Colds?

2009-02-25T20:17:00.002-06:00

Sorry I fell off the radar for a while there. I've had a cold. Which means that I missed a lot of lectures and got to know the ends and outs of my little dorm room like the back of my hand. Actually, I mostly slept which is really sad because my parents came to visit. I had so many plans and I'm not sure we accomplished anything. I'm really sorry about that, but I'm still grateful they came.

Anyway, I'm on the mend now so be prepared for profound writing any time now. . . but, if I continued now most of what I have to say would be discussions of mucus, so I'll spare you and make this short.

At least I'll leave you with the postings of pictures on Flickr. (see the top right box)

Silly Things for Friday: Karma Police

2009-02-13T13:35:00.003-06:00

What does your music library say about you?

*Put Your iTunes, winamp, mp3 player or whatever on SHUFFLE*For each question, press the next button to get your answer (no cheating)*You must write down song/artist even if it doesn't make sense*Include any comments in parenthesis*

What do your friends say about you?
"Fitter Happier" Radiohead (I hope not!)

2. How would your coworkers describe you?
"Forgiveness" Luna Halo (Sounds about right.)

3. How would you describe yourself?
"Frommer's Best of Paris" (Hmmm. Not sure how this got on my MP3)

4. What do you like in a romantic partner?
"Good Times Gonna Come" Aqualung

5. How do you feel today?
"Good Vibrations" The Beach Boys (*giggle* I am in a good mood.)

6. What is your life's purpose?
"Grace" Jeff Buckley

7. What is your motto?
"Hallelujah" Jeff Buckley (the last two are interesting . . . not Christian songs FYI but pretty on anyway.)

8. What do you think about the most?
And I'll "Hang on to You" Luna Halo (I want this to be true.)

9. What are you going to do on your next vacation?
"Haiti" Arcade Fire (Hahahaha! It's is great how this makes sense, but is probably not true.)

10. What do you think of your first love/date?
"He Woke Me Up Again" Sufjan Stevens

11. What is your life story?
"Heart in Hand" Bethany Nobles (That's right on.)

12. What did you do yesterday?
"Heaven" Luna Halo (My player is loving them today.)

13. What do you think of when you see the person you like/love?
"Heaven When We're Home" Wailin' Jennys (SO true.)

14. What describes your wedding?
"Hold Nothing Back" Copeland (Very nice.)

15. What will they play at your funeral?
"Holy" Bethany Nobles (I probably would make her play at my funeral. But that's just mean.)

16. What is your obsession?
"Horton Hears a Who" Dr. Seuss (Yes, a person's a person, no matter how small.)

17. What is your biggest fear?
"I Remember" Damien Rice

18. What is your biggest secret?
"I'll Look Around" Madeleine Peyroux

19. What is your biggest turn-on?
"I'll See You in My Dreams" Django Reinhardt

20. How do you describe your friends?
"I'm Alright" Bethany Nobles (She's one anyway.)

21. What would you do with a million dollars?
"If I Fall" Aqualung

22. What is your opinion of sex?
"In the Backseat" Arcade Fire (Wow. What can I say?)

23. What is your biggest regret?
"In the Devil's Territory" Sufjan Stevens

24. What would you rather be doing right now?
"In His Temple as in the Hearts of Man for Whom Saved the Earth" Sufjan Steven (absolutely)

25. What will you post this list as?
"Karma Police" Radiohead

The Zen of Sushi

2009-02-11T10:32:00.003-06:00

So, last night Ambra and Jenn and I escaped the farm.; after two weeks, you have to remind yourself you're still a person.

First stop, no surprise, was to the closest bookstore which happens to be a two story Barnes and Nobles. And yes, I got two books as if I wasn't constantly reading and working on projects. Consider it therapy. After much debate and help from Ambra, Jenn, and phone-in-friend Everette from New Orleans, I ended up with Ann Rand's Anthem (Did you know she was born Алиса Зиновьевна Розенбаум so I'm not really leaving my Russian literature obsession) and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig . I'm not really clear how I ended up with this mix, but I'm going with it. Ambra got The Man Who was Thursday. I literally jumped up and down when I saw her with it in her hand; totally geeked out. It's one of my all time favourites. She now knows she has to at least fake that she likes it or I will no longer be her friend.

Next we went to Osaka Sushi and I got a very unhealthy combination of spider rolls and spicy tuna. It was fabulous after all this cafeteria food. No that I'm complaining. Today we're getting Hungarian as out "special" meal. Not sure what their translation of Hungarian will be. I'll let you know.

Next on the list was a stop at Ben Franklin, which if you're from this area you'll know that's sort of like Michaels but with a more dime store vibe. We got yarn and hooks because we have discovered that most of the speakers realize that you're in lecture for six hours a day and you might need something to keep you mind focused. I made a little sweater for my water bottle and I'm half way finished with a hat that I'm making for someone going somewhere cold. Next I'm making scarves for Jenn and Ambra. We picked out yarn for a long time before coming to some very fun conclusions. Ambra is learning quickly - but we need to learn not to be crafty too late inot the night. Sleep is essential if you're going to make it through these classes and retain anything they're throwing at you. (Seriously, Think they've gone over everything I learned in seminary over the past two weeks.)

Then we, of course, made our way to Target: the land of the free and the brave. I will miss it, but in Vienna I will have IKEA and KIKA: land of the funky light bulbs and cool kitchen cabinets. Some how the sirens called us into the clothes department and we managed to rationalize long dress purchases for upcoming cultural worship experiences/swimsuit covers for the coming summer. I think the last plan was to meet in Spain to go to the beach. We'll see if that happens, but just in case we'll have to the right cover-up for the boadwalks. We left as quickly as possible after that, but our cashier still made fun of our purchaces - but there is nothing wrong with getting sundresses, Draino, and a Downy Ball! That's what makes it such a wonderufl place!

Alrighty. Now you can see the sillier side of this crazy adventure. I hope you've enjoyed it.

Culture Shock

2009-02-09T14:23:00.002-06:00

Apparently you should get ready for this title to be used often. But, this time I will say that I'm learning about it more than I'm living it so as to make it easier when I really experiencing differences in my new culture. As for how I'm doing, I've grown used to my surroundings so much faster than I thought. And I'm really loving it here. I owe you thanks for your part in my transition.

I now wake up before my alarm goes off at 7 - today I woke up at 4 which was a little too early to function for the day. Of course that would happen when I'm trying to cut down on coffee intake again.

I go to lectures all day about life . . . and life insurance. I skipped the mosquito class. Don't tell the nurses. I'm still not sure what shots I will get - but I didn't think I'd be getting any until I got here! I'm deciding what to do about banking options and investigating health care in Vienna. Their medicine is apparently a lot better than I gave them credit for. It will be nice to not worry about having to travel for good care. Some of my friends will not be so lucky.

I also made my first retreat to the City of Richmond. Carytown was wonderful: it's one of those areas like Magazine Street in New Orleans with plenty of shops, boutiques, salons and little cafes. There was a great ----- store where I found my brother's birthday gift. There was even a import shop called Eurotrash - where we discovered that our 'Lottie money' would not get far but it was fun to play. I'll post pictures of my adventure with my fellow Western Europe bound girls as soon as I can. They are available on Facebook now if you are my "friend."

**** News bulletin****

Amber's apartment is gorgeous. Her super just sent her a video tour of her place. It's perfect for having people over for dinner. And, with the way she cooks I'm sure people will be crowding in. If only I could get a place that close to a metro station! I can't believe they were able to find that place!

****End bulletin****

But, as I was saying, life is normalizing quickly. We were all quite challenged by our guest speaker, Stan, today as he gave us a crash course on cultural anthropology. And we were all grateful for the chocolate he tossed out to help us stay focused. Clearly, he is a brilliant man. I think a bunch of us our going to go with him to get coffee and talk more about how to communicate the God's love and His Gospel in a other cultures contexts tonight.

And, I'm also looking forward to more "special meals". Today we had pico de guillo, black beans and rice served with tortillas (rather than silverware) to experience a different way to eat. I have to say that it's been my favorite and probably one of the healthiest meals I've had here.

I wonder what we'll do next?

Treasuring Up in My Heart

2009-02-04T13:25:00.002-06:00

God is doing amazing things and moving among all the people of the earth even more than I thought - and I look and watch for those kinds of things!

Hearing story after story, how do I respond?
After our morning session today, we all left for lunch rather quiet and sobered. Not because of we were sad or disquieted. We were awed. And I'm even more awed now that I've had some time to process. And then at lunch I sat with a couple who had lived among the subjects of some of the stories and they verified them. They had tears of memories and smiles on their faces. They were ready to be back out there.

After the past few days, there are only two versus from Scripture that come to mind:

(Revelations 10:11) “I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, ‘Now the salvation, and the strength, and the kingdom of our God, and authority of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down.’
And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony for they did not love their lives even unto death.”

(Luke 2:1819) "And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds had told them. But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart."

I can't broadcast what I've heard, but I wish you could understand all the same. Our God is full of mercy and he is doing things I only hoped and dreamed. People from every tribe and nation will know of Him and His love for them.

His Gospel is not far off, but near to them.

Rutuine . . . Rouxtine . . . ruetin???

2009-02-02T15:44:00.003-06:00

I'm not only a bad speller, I'm not much of a routine person. I need structure in my life, but it just doesn't happen naturally. But, with teammates depending on me and due dates every day, I HAVE to figure out something. And soon.

I began to realize this long ago, but Dr. Rankin talked today and he made it very clear that we have to maintain balance in our lives or we leave ourselves to chaos and destruction. Not that he was threatening us, like I'm making it sound. Just that we will have too much going on if we do not clearly protect out priorities, nothing will get done.

Well, Lets see how I've done so far today:

- Meet with book team and Dr. Rankin to discuss book distribution at 8:55am - check
- Copy learning goals worksheet to keep for reference - maybe tonight?
- E-mail weekly feedback report - check!
- E-mail book team strategy for approval - check
- E-mail book team to set book room moving date - oh yeah . . . forgot about that.
- E-mail reminder to next week's topic leader - that, too.
- Meet with A at dinner to be interviewed about going on the field for her school project- in about ten minutes
- Excersize 30 min on the elliptical - after dinner
- 1 hour on German - Gah! I'm already so tired. . . but it's "my goal"
- spend some wind down time in the Word - how do married people do that sort of thing? I'm loving II Corinthians though. . . and Acts for assignment (at least it's just a chapter a day)
- Work on personal prayer calender - maybe just the rest of the week laid out (another goal)
- Go to bed before 11pm - do-able if I can stay away from my friends!

twenty-five things

2009-02-01T12:26:00.003-06:00

I have gotten enough tags from friends about twenty-five random things that I'm going to respond, but do not feel like you have to:

1. I don't really like my music collection. I like a lot of the music one it, but there are so many pieces (songs) that I want that I have never gotten around to getting. Just other priority.

2. Operatic singing is my favorite feeling in the world. I wish I could explain the number of journey's of the mind I have in a three minute song. It's beautiful.

3. I sang for my dorm-mates last night. All of them. It was a little weird, but I'm not complaining. It was good to sing again.

4. I still crave Angelo Broccatto's pancotta.

5. I'm growing my hair out, mainly so I will be more aware of the amount of time that has gone by over the next two years. I'll probably end up cutting it at some point.

6. I'm much more Texan than Southern in mind-set and taste; i.e. I don't like salty greens or sweet tea and I could live on Blue Bell and tortillas.

7. I have a "learning disability" that makes it difficult to read chords in music which is the main reason I've really never gotten into playing piano even though I love it.

8. I think that I am very blessed in my relatives.

9. Some of my very favorite movies are not in English.

10. I also love old movies. I could watch Philadelphia Story everyday.

11. I am amazed by how fresh the Scriptures remain to me after the number of years I've been reading them.

12. I'm a follower of Christ above all other things.

13. I have joined with Southern Baptists because I believe they are dedicated to the Scriptures and are dedicated to the Mission of God through the Co-operative program, all other issues aside.

14. I am amazed by artists. There are so many pieces that I have spent hours staring at and I consider those moments precious.

15. I love to walk along bodies of water.

16. Really I love walking anywhere in windy weather. I even like the sting of my ears when I walk back inside of a building.

17. I'm trying to accept my limits while not limiting myself.

18. If I don't think about it, I say, "whale" rather than, "well"; "sail" rather than "sell"; "seal" rather than "sill." I also have trouble saying prayer because I lived in Lubbock, Texas as a small child.

19. I boycott Walmart. I think after two years, it's just a matter of stubborness. I know I'm not changing anything, except what stuff I buy for myself. I'm still glad I do.

20. One of the things I most look forward to in Vienna is the street markets.

21. My feet hurt everyday. I wish I could have reconstruction surgery on them.

22. I love fruits and vegetables.

23. I cannot wait to sell my car and not drive to two years. I wish I never had to drive again.

24. I spend at least half of every year of my life with a Beach Boys song stuck in my head. Right now, "won't it be nice if we were older and we didn't have to wait so long . . . " is running through my head.

25. I dream. Attainable goals are hard to me to make. I'm working on that.

The END!!!

Bond of Love

2009-01-31T09:42:00.003-06:00

A wonderful elementary school principle reminded me in her blog today, "A saint is not someone who is good but who experiences the goodness of God." (Thomas Meron)

That is so true. This training is challenging me to be all that I dreamed of being: someone who abides in Christ daily; someone who takes care of her body; someone who knows how to love. So, I am learning how to live as a saint. Not in that cloistered, non-human perfection kind of way, but simply someone who has been radically changed by what she has realized about herself, the world and her God. But as importantly, she has chosen to act according to that realization. It's that choice to act that has caught me up and has kept me from living that abundant life that Jesus Christ said he became human to give us. Again and again, I have chosen comfort food over health, entertainment over wisdom, and self-obsession over love. How do you break away from such well worn paths?

I told about two hundred of my closest friends yesterday that my habit is to look at the world through atheistic - or at least or at least a Deist - state of mind. But yesterday, Christ gave my eyes a little glimpse of the world. We had three hours of silence so that we could settle in and seek God in all this mayhem that we have been handling since - well, for some of these parents - for a while.

I read from the Scriptures and I was surprised by how fresh the Exodus story was to me. I could see how God called Moses out through his curiosity and so many other things. I also spent an hour in prayer to confess myself before God everything that was going on inside me. I prayed for each of us who are going to embark on this journey. And I prayed for my team in Vienna. I prayed that God would strengthen our bonds of love so that people could see that we were more than friends; that they could see God with us.

During the gathering at the end of the time we shared, "what the Spirit said." And my teammate Christina got up and read of Exodus three, applying the passage as her call to the Viennese to bring them out of spiritual oppression. Of all the passages in the scripture we had chosen the same passage. I could hear the Spirit say, "I did this so you would know that the same Spirit that is in you is in Christina and other your teammates. I will do mighty things through you as a team." Talk about a bonding moment! And what an answer to my prayer. I know that He is going to use us to show His love and power to the people. And, this also reminded me: we are not going to share a philosophy or religion. We are going to show people how to connect with the Living God. The thought takes my breath away.

I wish that we could all take two months out of our lives to examine ourselves, learn about truth, and get equipped to live in the world. Of course, this is not even the end of week one! (Our weeks start on Mondays.) I can't imagine how my life and perspective are going to be different in seven weeks. And, how different again when all these fine ideas are challenged in real European life. But, for today, I am set on being the woman God created me to be. I want to molded to His image. I want to be in communion with Him and his people. I want to reach out and help others to do the same.

Let it be, Lord. Let it be.

First Real Day

2009-01-28T15:48:00.002-06:00

Two entries in one day!

I am so overwhelmed on so many levels. There are so many emotions, thoughts, ideas, questions, and names going through my head right now. Lance, I just met a guy who volunteered in Vienna named Clint who promised I will have the time of my life in Vien. He's vouching for you guys. From what I can tell from the Elledges, I don't know how we couldn't have an amazing time! I haven't seen the girls yet, but they just had their first day of school so I'm curious to see how it went for them.

Speaking of, I've met some great journeygirls who are going to be my neighbors in Western Europe. And we spent hours in lectures about immunizations and legal concerns so we are bond for life. There is also a Western European meeting tonight so I want to be focused when I see who my region-people are going to be. If I can just learn ten more names I'll consider the day a success.

But, to really do this whole orientation thing, I need to focus on the one man who matters most to me. I feel like I've been at a family reunion all day with my father always in the other room. I need to get some time with God. Probably going to have another quiet night - reading Scripture and spending some time with Him. Social time will come.

Time for dinner.

PS: Amber (is going to Milan!) just found out that her supervisor found her an apartment on a fourth floor - with no elevator. If I can only be so lucky I'll be buff by the time I get back to the States. :)

Here We Are!

2009-01-28T07:27:00.002-06:00

So, I thought for a second that I would have wireless internet connection from my little dorm room, but no signal to be had. This is probably good because it's making me get out in the morning to eat breakfast and socialize a bit before sessions start for the day.

Hmm. First impressions have been wonderful. The whole campus is icy and frosted, giving the trees a magical feeling. Everyone has been so friendly and I love how many people who are here who are going to Europe. I'm never going to have to stay in a Hotel in Paris, the western islands of Scotland, Brussels . . . not to mention more exotic locales.

I'm also feelings desperately behind. People refer to things I have no idea about, I realized yesterday that I never actually got five churches to officially declare they would be my prayer partners, and I can't shake a feeling of sleepiness. I know that I'll get used to things by the end. And then on to the next thing!

Oh, Christina Elledge just walked up!
Write later.

Coffee Versus Espresso

2009-01-22T23:43:00.002-06:00

Just four days until I leave all this behind.

I have begun - and so far only when I'm alone - to convulse like I'm either going to start weeping or vomit but thankfully just do the warm up part, not the actual full on freak out. Once when I looked at my dog sleeping in her fluffy bed in the breakfast room, once when driving up Nolensville Rd and realized how different this growing area will look by the time I get back, and again just now as I placed a towel in my suitcase as I try to gauge just how realistic I've been on estimates of what I can take with me.

The stress of "new school," "first day at my dream job," and the way to big for my head thoughts like, "I'm really living my dream to give my life for GOD and THE SALVATION OF THE WORLD!!!" is a little over whelming. The rational part of my brain is trying to focus on the size of my future closet and trying desperately to remember those last minute things. My room is a disaster of piles and empty hangers. I'm going to sleep in the guest bed again.

These are the days when coffee choices are important. I made the mistake of ordering the wrong thing today. You see, my dad left his cell phone at home - something he never does so I knew that he would feel blind without it. So, I decided to surprise him with a visit from me for lunch. But, he had a business lunch already scheduled so I spent most lunch talking to my dad's associates about what I'm about to try to do. I think my dad and I about burst into tears three different times. We're fine. Handling it great. Happy, happy, happy. At least I left lunch feeling unbelievably supported my him and the other guys - as baffled as some of them were that my dad would allow his daughter to live halfway around the world, when, as one guy said, he doesn't like his married 30 year old daughter to leave the Hermitage area alone.

From there I went to my mom's school to bring her some Advil and Diet Coke as she had burned her hand pretty bad last night and needed help to make it through the day. On the way I stopped at the Bucks. In an attempt to save money and prove that I'm a grown up that can drink real coffee and not just the mamby-pamby girlie drinks, and therefore can completely handle all that life may give me, I deviated from my tall non-fat latte with two Spenda and got a basic cup of dark roast. Four sips into it and my stomach revolted and my heart started for race. Clearly I was way too wound up to be drinking coffee.

Fortunately, I didn't push myself to drink any more and all was well. I was able to get my mom her meds, teach a teacher how to croucet a hat during recess, sat through the third grade's program during at assembly, and read to my mom's fifth graders til the end of the school day. By the time I left I was hungry and had a headach. This time I got my drink and all was well with the world. Paking could resume and my dog did not have to deal with a crazy person.

I'm going to miss espresso during training, but at least they have plenty of tea.

I'm not touching the coffee.

More Gilmore Than You Need

2009-01-20T22:53:00.003-06:00

[By this time next week I'll be unpacking. . . Great thought!]

I have a very special dad. He will listen/talk to me about anything and sometimes things I say will stick with him. Like, when I told him how much I loved the silly little show called Gilmore Girls, he started recording them on his record-tv-on -your-computer thingy (I'm such a tech geek, I know. Try to keep up). So, I realized last night that I hadn't watched very many of those very sweetly recorded shows. . . Yup, as soon as I got home from an early appointment with the dentist for some teeth reconstruction and while the rest of the world watched Washington, I was chillin' in the magic world of small town Connecticut.

Don't worry, I took a break for history making for about thirty minutes to watch Yo-Yo and the gang warm up the crowd for the swearing in and such. Really, the benediction was inspiring. I just can't imagine how this day must be for those who were on the front lines of the Civil Rights movement - but I'm progessing here. Must tell you about my frivolity.

Back to the Gilmores: It's not just the shows themselves. It takes me back to beautifully spent hours with dear girl friends who share my love of their cultural references and fast talking snide comments. In fact, after about 12 hours of first snow falls, Life and Death Bergade and twenty-minute sweaters, I'm still hungry for more - and there's more to be had, waiting for me! But, I'm honestly less than productive when I watch TV. Must resist! Haven't worked on German in three days.

A slow/snow day

2009-01-19T17:19:00.003-06:00

Things to do today:

sleep in
watch snow
update profiles
freak out about moving and starting a new life
freak out about not being grown up enough to leave the country; yes at 27.
snuggle with my beagle
stare at all my stuff, wishing it was a lot smaller
wish I could take my beagle
watch my beagle stare at herself in the mirror. She's very vain.
throw away more stuff
write my update e-mail
think of people to give things to - all too far away
find my Bible again . . .
Oh, and think about Dr. King's legacy

New Start

2009-01-19T14:37:00.003-06:00

I have agonized for quite a while as to how I'm going to communicate with those I love as I prepare and eventually move to Austria. And, at long last I've decided to actually re-enter the blog world. Until now I've done very little on this blog, but I'm hoping that since it will be one of the few links I have to my old world (the New World, that is) that I will actually keep up with this.

So, bare with me as I struggle through.

Opportunity To Change Lives

2007-12-17T11:53:00.000-06:00

OK, I need Help from your ladies.
OK, ladies, and gentlemen who want to contribute, I have an opportunity to to change the lives of young women in Moldova! My church, Rolling Hill Community Church, is work on a few projects to help teenage girls who are transitioning out of the orphanages of Moldova. If I remember correctly, these girls are turned out of the orphanages around the age of of 17. Unless someone steps in, most of these girls end up on the street with no life skills and little knowledge of their value in God's eyes. As you can imagine, in the poorest country of Europe, these girls are left with few choices.

SO, when I asked what I could do while I'm recovering from surgery, Steve, the missions coordinator at RHCC sent me this:

I’ve got a great project for you that might be right up your alley. Actually, you could choose from a couple of things that need to get done, all with regard to our transitional living home project for girls.

1. I need to develop a curriculum for the project that would cover all the things that girls in Moldova need to learn: how to manage and save money; dating; getting along with roommates; problem-solving; networking for success; health and hygiene; self-esteem; having, raising and teaching children; changes in the female life-cycle; personality differences; dealing with difficult people; negotiating the things you need; using discrimination in relationships; personal safety issues; etc. I’m thinking of a notebook of stuff (I had developed some of this for CERI when I was there, but would like to have a whole, fresh approach).

2. I’d like to develop a 365 day a year devotional guide for the girls that encourages their ability to think more relationally about God and others and where they fit into His Kingdom and plans. I am thinking of ways in which Scripture can meld into their lives, past, present and future in very concrete ways, including teaching them about specifically female understandings of God and applications….maybe a section on women of the Bible; how women can take stands for themselves in a patriarchal society; Jesus’ intentional inclusion of women into his circle and what that means and looks like for them today; etc. It would be huge to have a section that would reframe for them the mystery and purposes behind their personal misfortunes and how God uses tragedy to “fit us for heaven” as well as make us useful to the other wounded among us….things like that. You could really go wild with this, I’m sure!

If you would like to be a part of this project, please let me know!

I know that there are plenty of y'all with things they have already written - or have ideas just waiting for the perfect outlet. Well, here's your chance!

Quick Catch Up

2007-04-27T18:27:00.000-06:00

Update part:
This semester has been a whole new set of challenges. Partly because of conscious decisions, and then from the consequence of those decisions, I seemed to have found myself in this great In-Between. For the past two years I've felt like I am supposed to be apart of a new church in New Orleans. Last year I got to know the people of Sojourn in the Uptown and I was really excited about that, but I now feel like I need to be working on becoming a member of the Mid-City community. Therefore, I've been pulled further and further from what the folks of Sojourn are doing. I hoped this would give me more time in Mid-City and motivation to dig in and start my own life calling, starting with a Bible study with some girls in my neighborhood.

Unfortunately, I have continued to work in Uptown and I've been going to school full time in Gentilly. With so much time away from the group I feel called to invest in, I've spent a lot of this semester frustrated! I work on Sundays in Uptown so I haven't even been able to worship with believers who are meeting in churches in Mid-City. Plus, I've yet to really connect with the women of my area - even enough have any kind of group of friends much less a Bible study. At the same time, I have been able to get to know people I would never have gotten to know if I were all wrapped up in "church activities," as good as they might have been. And, as the semester is coming to a close, it "just so happens" that my dream job is finally coming open!!!

If all goes according to plan, in a couple of weeks I will start working at Fairgrinds Coffeehouse. The owners, Robert and Elisabeth, are very supportive of my idea for a coffeehouse/venue and they are planning on bringing my onto their staff. They are re-opening in less than a month after being closed for two years from the flood of Katrina - after much rebuilding and community work that slowed them down. They will be the only coffeehouse in New Orleans selling only Fair Trade products (when ever applicable). I'm especially impressed by this because they are not planning on charging their costumers more for more expensive coffee because they believe in making sure that farmers get a fair price so much!

I hope to learn about how to run a coffeehouse with conscience from Robert and Elisabeth, and I look forward to starting a Bible study there by the end of the summer (hopefully sooner rather than later.) There is so much potential in this opportunity. Please pray for my witness - I want to serve people with the heart, mind, and hands of Christ. Please pray that I will be a humble worker and student at Fairgrinds! Also, please pray that I will finish my work at my old job well. I want to make sure that I leave in good relationships with my co-workers.

Also!

I'm going to Russia this summer!!!

Two professors from my school have put together three classes for this summer that are based around a mission trip to Russia! They believe that some churches in Moscow understand how to work in a harsh, changing urban environment and that we can learn from them! A small group of us are going with them to Moscow to learn how they pray for their city with prayer-walking, do evangelism in the community in a non-preachy but helpful manner, and meet in small groups in people's homes to build community and study the scriptures together. I really think that I will learn a lot more from this trip than sitting in a classroom! I'll only be in Russia for a week, but I'll be doing a lot of reading and writing in preparation and response to the trip.

Please pray because I am definitely still short on funds for this trip. Please pray that people will pray and that some will give money in support of this trip. The school is supporting me by subsidizing the costs through donations, but there is still a little over $1,000 to be raised. I really believe that the Lord is going to provide this. He has already allowed for my Russian visa to go through with amazing ease - and I thought that would be the hard part!

There are many other things that the Lord has done and is showing me as a possibility in the future, but I hate to take any more of your time. I'm excited to step out of this time of In-Between and into Living-Out the life I long to live! I can't tell you how much it means to me that I have your well-wishes and prayers. I would love to hear from you. Speaking of which, I would love to get your mailing addresses and/or any blogs, facebook, myspace, or other way that I can better keep up with your life in this ridiculously fast-paced world. :)

Until next time, Love.
Amy

--
check out what's going on with me:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/amyjnicholson
http://www.myspace.com/amynicholson

2006-10-25T12:54:00.000-06:00

It's official. I'm on too many networking/blogging sites and I don't have a clue what I'm doing. That being said, I usually end up spending most of my time on the networking type sites because they take no thought. So, if you want to know what is really going on with me check out: my facebook profile my myspace or my xanga

Yeah. I know some of y'all can handle this and more. But it's a little much for me.

2005-09-03T22:32:00.000-06:00

Hey people

I'm posting more on my xanga right now which is this

Mcnickgirl Xanga

Thanks

blog

2005-09-01T09:52:00.000-06:00